The Shirt

morning messages
morning messages
the strings of my faith
the strings of my faith

 

THE SHIRT

it arrives.
wrapped in blue.
i tear open the package
press my face into it
and inhale memories.

images

When i was small, everywhere i looked Jesus was dressed

in a long flowing white robe.

I would kneel in the dimly lit empty classroom beneath
the church and pray
beneath a painting of Jesus.
In our church sanctuary there was an enormous white statue
of Jesus. His hands held out,
dressed in long flowing robe,
welcoming us each Sunday to service.
My image of Jesus was always one of softness, grace and love.
I always knew, He was my home.
I would picture myself wrapped up in his robe of faith.
while i was kneeling i would gaze up and finish my prayers
with the song , “Jesus loves me.”
I did not need to physically see Jesus to know he existed
or that i was loved, because His love flowed easily
to me through my faith,
just like the beautiful robes he was painted wearing.
Years later, when I was 11 we moved and joined a new church.

from his hands i felt acceptance
from his hands i felt acceptance

My first day of confirmation Pastor Bill greeted his young open souls
dressed in a white flowing shirt, blue jeans, cowboy boots and a huge grin.
A tall man with a Bible in hand,
his big brown eyes welcomed us and put us all at ease.
This man,
our pastor
would come to be my mentor, guide, friend and father figure.
Throughout my life i would call him, write him, meet with him
and some of the times he would wear this same flowing white shirt.
Pastor Bill always folded me up in His faith.
All he need do is wrap me up in the enormous hug of his and
once more, i knew i was home.
He was a listener, a guide, my strength.
He never judged me or scolded me, but sat in silent stillness
as i cried, laughed, shared and grew.
When I lost him a few years ago
i thought to myself,
how can i live with out my worldly Jesus?
and then
the shirt
arrived.
and
i inhaled
the
memories
of
Pastor Bill.
I miss him.
Having one of his flowing white shirts
in my presence
is like
having
a
security blanket.
oddly, i find myself talking to the shirt
as if it were Pastor Bill.
I put the shirt on
and thought to myself,
“it seems so small, because he was
such a large part of my life, heart and soul…”
Pieces of life lie scattered everywhere in our daily grind
the one constant
for me
is Jesus-His acceptance, guidance, tenderness and love.
Falling into my faith daily,
wrapping myself up in Pastor Bills shirt,
remembering the robes of Jesus,
the songs of a child
all put me in the same place-
the palm of God’s hand…
for they all cradle me
with the the warmth,
knowledge and assurance
that
with Jesus in my heart
i am home…

my security blanket of faith
my security blanket of faith

1 Comment

  1. Lorrie Deanne Black

    Thank you once again for sharing….Your blog is sweet and warm, a safe place to come and sit and enjoy! I look forward to spending more time here in the future.
    Praise His holy name,
    lorrie

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