bone weary tired at nautilus teachings

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she cannot move
her limbs
heavy
weighted
unwilling to budge
fisted hands
eyelids
cement
legs
tethered
to the bed sheet
pillow
a permanent
impression
of her head
this
is
exhaustion
the boys lick her
step on her
beg her to rise
the morning is here
she tries
to pry open
her lids
and cannot
“two more minutes boys”
her sandy voice
barely
audible
she falls back
into dreams
of swimming
of bending
of
painting
even running…
once more the boys
hover above
as she cracks one eye open
and sees a fuzzy headed
long tongue
brown eyed boy
starring at her
pleading,
“mom, I have to pee…”
she uncurls each finger
rolls over
as her feet
slam heavy
onto the wood floor
eyes not yet open
she stands
lets them out
and begins…
at this moment
she feels
every year of
her 53 years
maybe even more…
life has been busy
demanding
it’s also been
a celebration
a great joy
and on the flip side
hard
a struggle
a challenge to
“be more than she can be…”

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her day begins
he looks at her
“what’s wrong, babe?”
“I am just exhausted, 100%”
he knows this
but can he see it
can he understand
he is superman
and she is
the lazy ebb and flow
of the tide
he is non-stop movement
she is the flat, calm current
of a lazy brook
gurgling
with wildflowers
growing from her cracks…
one look in the mirror
and
BAM!
“holy crap, “ she whispers
“i look like i have two swollen
black eyes…ugh!”
this is bone weary tired.
this is the long tendrils
on a weeping willow tree
hanging low on a still day
just waiting for a wind
to fill them with flight …
today she will be slow
today she will not rush
today she will allow herself
time to do
nothing at all…
“hey, baby…you stay home today…”
he says as he leaves for work…
she thinks to herself
today, tomorrow, the next
how about if i just jump
on my Orion
and sail away for a month…
we all feel this way
some time
and when we do
we must listen,
still ourselves
and remember
no is answer
and no explanation
is needed.

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