C, me and mom at nautilus teachings

what is the space
between
silence
and death?
diagnosis
and the last breath?
how long is the pause?
a long rest?
a short nap?
a nodding off?
for dory
her prognosis was,
“6 months…”
her daughter was young,
only 21
newly married
still in college.
the thought of leaving
her young beauty searching
drowning
lost
in an unfinished life
haunted her
broke her heart
leaving her sadness
to begin rooting itself
in strength,
her faith
the encompassing warmth,
her love
for life and her family
the nourishment…
she
would
not
give
up
or
in
to
cancer…
today,
she was home alone
gliding her hand
across the silky smooth top
of the dining table
she bought on her own
and loved so much
when the phone rang,
“doris, this is dr. b’s office
we have you scheduled
for your first round of chemo
to start tomorrow.
we need you to be
at the hospital at 7am…”
she took a deep breath
as tears began to fall
placed her hand upon her heart
closed her eyes
drew in one more breath
and spoke,
“of course! i will see you all tomorrow, thank you…”
darkness descended
she lit a candle
began to pray,
“dear Lord…”


just then the door flew open
breaking her silence
rushing life
into her veins…
“mom! mom! oh mom, guess what?!!!”
quickly she dried her tears
and was getting ready to stand
when her daughter rounded the corner
into the kitchen,
“oh, mom. what is wrong?
are you ok?”
she smiled
stood all of her 5’ 4 3/4” tall
squared her shoulders
and whispered,
“yes, dear heart
come sit and tell me your news…”
she patted the wooden chair
at her beloved table.
her daughter
began to feel tiny
wanted to run away
found it hard to catch her breath
she knew her mom was sad
she had no idea what to do for her
memories overwhelmed her
this
was
her
mom…
could she really loose her?
a reel of images began
clicking through her mind…
she was a senior in high school
she had come home that day so excited
only to find her mom in tears
sitting in darkness
hand still upon the phone
hurt by the words spoken to her
by her son…
on this particular day
she had amazing news-
“oh my gosh mom, today was
THE best day ever…”
she placed upon the
orange counter top
a letter…
“look mom, it came…
will you open it for me?”
her mom smiled
picked up the letter
tore it open,
her eyes scanning the contents,
“oh, sher…
i am so proud of you.
you got in…”
“what? i did?”
soon the two were hugging
crying
and yapping a mile a minute
about all the plans
they would need to make…
“you know your brother lives
just outside San Francisco
so that makes me feel better
about you being so far away…
WOW,
my daughter the artist!”
just then her father walked in…
“hey, what’s up? what are you two smiling about?
we share the news with him
and then
BAM!


“you cannot make money with your art, sher,
i won’t pay for this…”
she fell into her mother softly
pressed her eyelids tightly closed
holding back tears,
would this news make her happy?
could it save her life?
give her strength to fight harder?
she smiled wide and said,
“mom, i’m pregnant…”
“oh sher, oh sher, that’s wonderful
let’s go shopping!”
this was dory.
this was her mom.
always ready to say the words,
“charge it!”
putting everyone else first
the most giving person she knew…
breathing in
they held hands
smiled
and together
got in her ragtop
drove-
top down
music on
to her friends baby boutique…
dory now had something
to live for.
the question was,
would it work?