changing form at nautilus teachings

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the image is clear
repeat
repeat
repeat
her limbs
are outstretched
the weight of her
leaving an
impression
upon the soft sand…
the light is dim
barely there
with clouds
hovering
upon the horizon
she
is
still
baby waves
gently trickle
upon the shore
some grazing
her wrist
and
every now and then
one kisses her lips
making her smile
she will not move
motionless
she waits
eyes closed
drifting back
to another place
a time
when innocence
was lost
she began believing
she was of no value
and her voice was
taken away…
she was young
she was innocent
a blank journal
who’s pages were being
marred
with words
hurled at her
so she became
exactly what
she was called
stupid
fat
ugly
and later on
slut
whore
bitch
cunt…
she knew no different
always choosing
that which exemplified
her birth given
foundation
wanting always
to emulate
that which
she was taught
finding
repetitive molds
to fall into
was easy

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she would know
from first glance
if he was the person
she
should
seek…
and then she
waited patiently
for the explosion
of words
fists
noise
only then,
would she know
she
was
home…
a place
where she
need not change
her form
she could stay
silent
caged
drowning
this
was
her
life…
a long time passed
she journeyed to
the beach
alone
walking slowly
noticing
her footprints
she left behind
each one
slowly
changing shape
the further
she strolled…
when she reached
the white steeple
she paused
sat
gazing once more
at her footpath
it had changed
most of it had
disappeared
with the incoming tide
leaving only pieces
of her
visible…
she took a deep breath
exhaled
paused
once more
this time
smiling…
WOWZA!
today
this
was
her
day…

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today
she learned
impressions fade
they get washed away
she was not molded
not a steel sculpture
she could be
melted
bent
she
was
pliable
it was
her
that
was
stuck
in thinking
she must remain
forever
in the hands
of those
who
wrecked her…
she was not
an isolated
abandoned shell
waiting for the next
crusty
hermit crab
to enter
and take
command…
NO!
she was washable
stains could be
removed
a new shape
could be cut
from the fabric
she mended
she could even
change color
all by
accepting her past
forgiving herself
and rooting
herself
within her
faith…
HOLY HOTCAKES!
she slapped her hand
upon her forehead
and fell backwards
into the soft, dry, sand
giggling…
then she rose up
noticing
no impression was left
the grains
were scattered,
yes,
but still
a beautiful mess…
her walk home was different
she slowly flipped
the sand upward
with each step
sometimes she would
jog towards the water
stilling herself
just long enough
to see her footprints
washed quickly away…
‘i like this
ebb and flow,’
she thought
‘i love how
every footprint
changes,
allowing
the healing
waters
to fill it up
leaving it ready
to change form…’
the lightbulb
finally
went on
inside her head!
soon she was
chasing the waves
challenging them
to transform
her
allowing her
to metamorphose
color
size
thought path…

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‘JIMMINY CHRISTMAS’
she thought…
life is amazing
for all these years
i never challenged
never asked questions
never even thought
i was not who
i was told i was
but today,
today
i know
beyond a shadow
of a doubt
i can be
anyone i wish…
i can eat healthy
exercise
pray
love
speak
paint
write,
just
BE
who i know i am inside…
a dizzying thought
for sure
one that nearly
took her breath away
so she paused
gazed at mother ocean
watched the tide
roll in and out
noticing
it placed upon the shore
many treasures
she bent
picked up a small
nautilus
placed it in her pocket
and began
her journey
of discovery
knowing
this day forward
she was no longer
a mat
upon
which
people
wiped
their
feet…
today
she
was
flexible
and never again
would she be
a speck
trapped
within
an hourglass
of someone
else’s
life…

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