dealing with anger at nautilus teachings

 

what is your reaction
to
anger?
when someone
is yelling at another
person
what is your response?
what if you were
being yelled at
do you scream back?
what is your reaction
when you see a parent
upset with their child
and is raising their voice?
how does
anger
make you feel?

some people
are born fighters
they love a good argument
and are unafraid to
duke it out with words…
some get wounded
internally hit
as if the person elevating
their voice has just
slapped them…
still others turn silent
run
hide
put their hands
over their ears
and wish it to go away…
maybe
you are a bit of all three?
after all
warranted anger
is normal
for humans
and we need to understand
we are imperfect
and all have our
breaking points…

but when is anger
tooooooo much?
do you have a limit?
on a scale of 1-10
with 10 being most tolerant
what is your number?

mine
is
a
ZERO

i hate anger.
i have lost my
composure
too many times
throughout my life
to understand
how damaging it
can be
not just to you,
but to the person you
are yelling at…

our home growing up
was very quiet.
sure, once in a while
my parents would argue,
but rarely,
and i can tell you
for a fact
the few times i remember
as a teen, my parent’s disagreements,
were doosies!
always ending with my mom
being hurt
threatening to leave
and in one case
she actually passed out.
but i believe for the most part
my parents discussed
everything
in private
when no one was around
which i think is
what we all should do,
cut out a space of time
to sit
listen
and really hear
what the person we love
is feeling…
we need to accept
their hurt
or anger
even if we disagree
because it is our job
to love them
unconditionally…
however;
when anger grips you
all senses are lost
and a tsunami
takes over…

i have lived through
one horrendous marriage
full of nasty rancid sewage
spewing forth from
his mouth at me,
in front of friends
family and my kids…
when i finally called it quits
i felt so light, clean
and free
that even today
if d were to get mad at me,
and sometimes he does,
i turn silent
and want to run…
i have no room for anger
in my life
warranted or not
and
YES
sometimes i feel angry
but i scream at the walls
when no-one is around
or i scream and cry
while i am driving alone…
i never
ever
ever
will yell at anyone again-
at least that is
my hope…

i lost it over and over again
with one of my kids
and i beat myself up for it
all the time…
i have been forgiven
and everything is fine
but i learned a hard
and valuable lesson
anger
is not worth
losing
anyone you love
no matter how
tired
frustrated
exhausted
stressed
or betrayed
you feel…

i find aging helps in this matter-
at least with me.
i have lived
through enough
NOISE
to know
the second half of my life
will not
allow it in
i
can’t
i
won’t
end
of
story…

when i see
people argue
i want to shush them both
stand between them
push them apart
like boxers in a  ring
and send them to their corners
to breathe
think
calm down…
when i see a parent
upset with a child,
i
get
it!
as long as they
are not name calling them
stupid, idiot…
or hitting , pushing, or poking them in any way
i
am ok
with some
elevation of voice
just not full on
holy shit
scare the pants off your kid
screaming…
their is a difference
between being firm
and anger
their is a time
and a place…
i was one of those moms
who would leave a full cart
movie theater, ball game…
i would grab my kids hand
load them in the car
to go home to sit
and have a discussion
about their whining or poor behavior
if my kids ever
started acting up
in public…

todays schedules are
over crammed with
too may hours spent at work
stress of getting
all home chores done
ill family or friends
needing support
pets who need to be
washed, walked, run
and loved
not to mention
if you still have them
at home
kids who have a million
tiny demands…
where do we draw the line?
can we?
should we?
how do we?
i love this quote from
Rev. Paul J. Bucknell

“after we have stripped away our anger,
then we can finally put on love
and self control.
without stripping out the root cause for anger,
it is like putting a coat of paint
on a dirty wall. it will peel off in no time…
first strip off the dirt
and then you can lay the paint
right on the wall, and it will stick…
afterwards, real healing can come
when we affirm our purpose of living
to do God’s will, to exert self-control
and to love one another…”the next time

when anger grabs
you by the throat
and you feel
your wick ready to explode
not to mention
ugly words
backing up
inside
ready to destroy
someone you love
for whatever reason,
if you can
somehow
someway
breathe
pray
breathe
pray
pause
or even
just walk away,
do it…
the most important thing
is kindness love
and respect…
our job is to do all three
every day
in the best way we can
and
to
not
let
anger
win…