forward motion at nautilus teachings

 

growth
is always
through
forward motion…

high tides
are every 12.5 hours
meaning low tides
need to come
in the middle of each one
every 6 hrs and 12.5 minutes…
beach combing
is always best when you
are walking on the
lower side of the tide
as it increases the ease
of walking on flat hard sand
and you may even find
a beautiful shell or two…
i love to beach walk
early in the morning,
when nary a soul is there
with my coffee in hand
maybe catching the sunrise
but always able to watch
the birds…
some are sunbathing
some are resting
others skim the water
catching tiny fish
or stick their beaks in the sand
digging out a fiddler crab
but my favorite is
the pelican…
oh, how i love to watch them
spread their wings and glide
just inches above the ocean

today
i was looking for a particular
type of shell
for a new idea i have…
i began walking south
from 4 north
with my destination
always being the white steeple
of club zion church…
i don’t wear my sunglasses
because they impede
my sight
just enough
and a good sheller
knows,
you need your vision
to spot your find!
i was having tons of luck
on the way down the beach
and when i turned around
and began looking towards
waters edge
i found myself wondering
did i miss any on the other side?
as i glanced to my left
i heard God’s voice,
‘sheri, you won’t find
what you are looking for
by looking back…’
i laughed and thought
‘ain’t that the truth’

so many times
we wish to go back
to a moment/year when
business was booming
kids were young
we had no aches and pains
financially we were solid
everyone we knew
was healthy and living the good life
biking was our mode
of transportation
and sleep came easily…

i catch myself once more
turning my head
only to hear again,
‘sheri, you won’t find
what you are looking for
by looking back…’

i had been solidly stubborn
my whole life.
i was always able to throw
out a quick
‘NO’
before even thinking about
what i was being asked to do
because
i had put up with enough
pain and anxiety
that finding any peace
left me feeling
as if i did not want anyone
invading my sacred space…

i wanted a say!!!

but faith does not work that way

i
am
moving
forward
and all looking back does
is keep me stuck
in a routine
that i out grew…
you would think that
at nearly 56
all the growing stuff
would cease,
but
NO
the good Lord keeps pushing
me forward
giving me signs
and the one this morning
was loud and clear~
stay focused
through my faith
and
HE
will
lead
me…

i think about how
i cannot change
my aging body,
the need to have help
to stand
when i am on the floor,
my forever
weeping knees and arms
from severe allergies
no doctor can control
i have tiny
dancing sperm looking
veins on my inner thighs
and don’t even get
me started about
my cellulite
and bulging mid section
that refuses to shrink
no matter how healthy i eat
or how much i work out…
my memory
certainly is not what
it used to be
i enjoy just sitting
with my boys
on the front porch chase
wasting away any afternoon.
my thyroid disease keeps
me steaming hot
all the flipping time
and my heart
aches
for
a
true
north
compass
to poke me in the eye
and say,
‘hey dummy, you are supposed
to go this way
and do this…’

so when i hear
God
speaking to me,
as i have my entire
life,
i pause
breath
and soak it all in…

growth
IS
always
through
forward motion

it is the untethering
of old habits
it’s weeding out
unnecessary boxes
and clutter
it’s taking a chance
that we still have
much more to give
back to this world,
if only
we would believe in
ourselves…

i glance at all my age spots
that have found a home
upon my thighs and arms
a few even landed upon my face
i look in the mirror
and know this truth
my mother
died
when she
was my age
and guess what, sheri?
you
are
NOT
dying,
thank God…

i don’t know what
this coming year will hold
for me and my tiny studio
i cannot tell you
what my one year plan is,
let alone my 5 or 10…
all i know
is
i
love
art
i
love
my
life
and no matter where life leads this
old artsy fartsy midwestern chick
i can guarantee you
i will be buoyed
by my faith
and splattered in paint…

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