God forgives at nautilus teachings

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there were
no jokes
in my family
i was the joke
I still am
the joke
the
daughter
who never got
a real job
the child
who grew up hiding
crying, hurting
drawing, creating
and imagining a happy life
the
sister who’s been married
three times
i was their joke
oh sure today
as grown ups we are polite
but there is no connection
of the heart
and this is true sadness
Growing up
There was not a day
That went by that
I wasn’t teased
They laughed at me
Never with me
I don’t tell jokes
I cannot take a joke
But
I am no longer
Any ones joke…
Being laughed at
is painful
especially for someone
who is already an introvert

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a few years back
a person who was supposed
to love me
a person i had always been kind too
who is part of our family
For no reason at all
Slammed me
at a family
gathering
of celebration
the people she did that to
did not laugh
or believe a word she said
they had my back
informed me of what went down
and loved and supported me
as i began a long trip
down the road of forgiveness
of this persons words
which she denies to this day
as even saying…

call me 720-2215
call me 720-2215

but i did forgive
and she,
well
she is still unkind to me
and once more this fall
i will be faced with seeing her
at my sons wedding-
but in my forgiving her
i accepted this as who she is
i don’t need to know why
and when i see her
i know i stand in my truths
i know i am kind
loving, giving
to name a few…
and i already have people
lining up to
“have my back”
and usher her out if her
mouth begins to utter
any unkind words…
we are faced
with many challenges in life
our job is to build people up
not tear them down
i believe people who are
cruel in any way
actually need more love
than the rest of us
that some how, some way
they are angry, jealous, lost and
very lonely…
I was the brunt of
many cruel jokes
in my life
yet at 53
i have no more fears
for i walk in my faith
i am proud of
my life
my family
and my truths
the next time
someones lips come untied
i am just going to wrap my
arms around her meanness
and whisper in her ear
“it’s a good thing God forgives us all…”