is death near at nautilus teachings

it started earlier this week
and today is june 11, 2017
at first i thought it was me
as my mind
tick, tick, ticked
back in time to july of 1987
on the warm summer evening
the wind caressing my skin
as i slept
fireflies lit up the sky
and i was awoken
by death,
warning me
my mother would
soon be gone…
i believe in the holy spirit
i believe in Jesus Christ
and i believe in God.
this past week i have caught
glimpses
of deaths return…
at first i thought it was shadows
since it’s been rainy and gloomy all week;
however; when i stepped from
my shower today
bam!
there it was
the fleeting darkness
alerting me
death is near…
after my mother died
she visited me for 7 years.
she would bring me messages
take me on memory rides
of the two of us
in her convertible…
every person i brought a message to
deemed me crazy,
yet,
every prediction
unfolded into truth.
i felt odd, weird
and began keeping her words
to myself…
every time someone i knew
and loved
died
that person visited me
gave me messages to pass to
their loved ones,
which i delivered
with a smile
and still i got the
‘she is fuckin crazy…’ look
what can i say to
help you understand
that i just know.
silence has become
my closest friend
because of this
and i have never tried
to tune deeper into
the voice of the Holy Spirit
after my mom left me,
yet still,
it comes…

on June 25th
my d turned pale
he began feeling ill,
off
and out of sorts…
my first thought was
‘is he sick?’
“no”
said the voice…
we spoke of death being near
and he asked me,
‘any more feelings?
is it mom?’
i shook my head
and replied,
‘i just don’t know.’
then monday
out of the blue
his long lost cousin from NYC
moved to palm bay and called him
inquiring about his mom…
two hours later
moms best friend from NYC called
asking the same question,
‘is margie ok?’
still i had no feeling of closeness
to this death
yet the shadows still startled me
at the oddest of times
so i knew
death was near…
last night d’s tummy was way off
and eating was tough
which is not like him because
one of the first things he asks me
every day is,
‘what’s for dinner?’
unsettled
exhausted
we both slept
fitfully…
today June 28th
17 days after death first appeared
the phone rang
at his office
while he was with a patient…
sobs of loss echoed
through the door
so he stood up and
opened it
to find his secretary
breaking into pieces
lying head down upon
her desk
mourning the loss
of one of her closest friends…
one hour later
my phone rings.
it’s d,
‘…….died in his sleep. i can’t believe this.
we both knew death was near…
i need you to help me in the …..’
we never know when
that knocking on the door
will be the one
which takes us home
away from our life
our loved ones
leaving pieces of us
scattered amongst the
hearts of all those we knew
and loved.
in their 55th year
of their lives
my mother
and her mother both died-
i am 55.
silence.
i
am
55.
reality.
i am 55
i’m
not
ready.
tonight
when d arrives home
we will have a normal
evening together.
tomorrow,
i will go in and work
for our friend
so she can stay home…
now is her time
to mourn
to take a look at her life
and think about
their memories
his laugh
his smile…
day by day
she
will
heal…
normalcy will return
the emptiness
will feel less
she will giggle
at a memory of him
start telling stories
of him
she will feel his presence
comforting her
holding her
and she will then
live in the knowing
one day
she will
see him again.
but for now
we all have her back
we all pray for her
and his family…
it’s what friends do
without being asked
we pick up the pieces
they cannot
until there is room
an opening of
healing
to once more
return
to
life…