“mean” to “happy” at nautilus teachings

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“…all you are is mean,
and a liar and pathetic
and alone in life
and mean and mean and mean and mean…”~Taylor Swift
with each ‘mean’
her tiny voice grows
she feels strength
getting ready to pop
out of her chest
and she knows
she just knows
she can take them all
every single guy
who hit her
yelled at her
made her feel
like a flea
encompassed
in gnarly
wadded up
lint and hair
every one
who told her
she was
fat, ugly, stupid
unloveable
not worth it…
today
she could do it
with one hand tied behind her back
with her head held high
she would not stutter
her words would be
full
clear
and
penetrating…
she remembers
every minute
each moment
the stench
the filth
the pain
the longing to die
she sees each face
laughing at her
hears their feet
chasing her down
smells their sweat
knows each set of eyes
and what each pair of hands
did to her
her memory is long
deep and filled
with stagnant
rotting ponds
which no longer
feed her…

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day after day
of floating in
mother ocean
of letting the
ebb and flow
of the tide
wash her back
into the shore
and place her
gently upon the
sandy beach
cleansed her
allowing her
to root herself
in her faith
and grow up
towards
the grace, light and love
of God…
she had been forgiven…
she had unlocked all
the tiny boxes
of memory
released them
and now today
at this very moment
as she drove,
loudly singing along
…”all you are is mean
and a liar and pathetic
and alone in life and mean…”
she laughed
and smiled
giggled even
at the words
she was filled only
with the healing balm
of unconditional love
not just from God,
but from her husband
and kids…
she had this amazingly
blessed and simple life
and for the first time
EVER
she
was
“because i’m happy
clap along if you feel like a room
without a roof…
because i’m happy
clap along if you feel like
happiness is the truth…”~pharrell williams
she sang
she laughed
she clapped
and she steered her car
back home
to her two furry loves
and the colorful life
she had created

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