nostalgia at nautilus teachings

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ah nostalgia!
the good old days!
do you remember being asked
to get up and turn on or off the television
to go answer the phone
and stretching the cord to the nearest
closet so you could have privacy????
in the days of my youth
which was the 60’s
i lived outside chicago
we had no AC
no camera
no television
we walked everywhere
unless it rained
or was across the town.
on weekends
and in the summer time
we were let outside
after breakfast
and told,
“i will ring the bell
when lunch/dinner is ready,
until then have fun!”
we were young
wild
and loved life.
every day we had
home made baked dessert
which you did not get
unless you finished your meal
and the best ones
were always on the nights
mom cooked liver and onions-
UGH!
i sat at the table falling asleep
on a few occasions
because i refused to eat
and the rule was, 
“you will sit there until you finish your dinner…”
thank goodness we finally got a dog
so i could spit out my food
into my hand and feed it!
the only day we ate dinner
with our parents was sunday…

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sunday was church day
the day we had ‘linner’ (lunch/dinner)
at 3 instead of my brothers and i
eating alone at the kitchen table
mom pulled out the dining table
we said grace
and once linner was over
we went for a ride in the car-
a ride to nowhere
just the windows down
and radio on…
i would close my eyes
and feel it all.
it was a safe time,
our adventures,
my brothers
could not pick on me
and they had to
be quiet
or the hand would come
from the front seat
and WHAM!
it would silence them!
my father taught us
quiet vigilance
as he was a man of few words
i always thought
he stuttered
because he did everything in three’s
tap tap tap
then the coffee cup went down
well well well
then he spoke…
you could always tell he was thinking
but never knew what…
by the time i was 5
we had a television
so, after our drives
we all would sit upon
the blue rug
watching
“my favorite martian
star trek
animal kindom
ending with
the wonderful world of disney …”
we would also get
a new treat mom had discovered
like bugles or doritos
once in a while we got
rootbeer floats.
but for the most part
the only sound was the tv
on sunday evenings.

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we learned to love
science fiction
animals
and imagination
and to this day
we are all
star trek and
star wars fans
we all have at least
2 animals or more
and each one of us
in some way
ended up in creative fields
for out of the box thinkers…
we all passed this down to our
children as well
all raising our children
to think for themselves
live their passion
be an original…
none of us are rich financially
but we are all individually blessed
with close family,
as together
my brothers and i
do not speak
accept rare instances…
how does this happen?
i cannot tell you for sure 100%
but the one thing we all agree upon
is,
unfortunately
it was our
i, i, i…
father
or lack there of.
of all the good things
he did give us
what we really needed
was him to listen
to guide
to punish fairly
to lead
but he just did not know how…
so, if you fast forward to now
we are 54, 57, 59 and 65
life rushed by us
tore us apart
and the fissure
is just toooooo deep.
i love all my brothers.
i have forgiven them.
i love my father
i have forgiven him.
but to just be able to go back
for one day
lay upon the floor
as a family
with the windows open
breeze blowing
cubbies playing on the radio
or Walt Disney
welcoming us to his show
while we munched on
special treats with mom and dad
always behind us holding hands
and smiling…
well, that would be A.O.K.
with me
which is why every year
i sit alone,
candle lit
on christmas eve
and watch
“it’s a wonderful life…”
yes,
life is wonderful
and
yes
“every time a bell rings,
and angel does get its wings…”

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