not an ugly duckling at nautilus teachings

 

sometimes in life
we meet one person
or a series of people
who change us from the
inside out…
this is the story
of one beautiful
young girl
i knew,
who believed
she was an ugly duckling
believed she was a mistake
believed
she was worthless…
until
she found her faith
put her trust in God
forgave to heal herself
and now lives
a very happy life
far far away from here…

she remembers
being taught
to be truthful
she remembers
being taught
to love
to give
to help
to pray…

yet swirling
all around her
were people
lying to her face
calling her names
egging her on
people just being

MEAN

she was teased
and taunted
for many reasons
people deemed
necessary.
none were true
yet she began
believing them.
by the time she was
6 years old
she new no boy
would ever want her,
‘you’re so ugly
even the retarded boy
who lives down the street
wouldn’t want you…’
she would never
be beautiful
‘you’re fat and you will never grow up
and have boobs and a butt,
so who will want you?’
she knew she would never
have an important career…
‘your so stupid
all you do is scribble on paper
and sit in corners and cry…’
all she knew
she was good for
was to do
exactly as boys
told her to…
people called her gumby
would never let her talk
found it funny to hold her down
and spit on her
pull her hair
or tickle her until she
wet her pants
they loved to flick
boogers at her
push her off her bike
tackle her from behind
and she was never asked
to play with them…

they did ask her
do things
she did not want
to do
prove she was worth
not hurting
or being locked
in the basement…
if she refused
they would tattle
and tell ugly lies
about her…
so,
from a young age
she began
living a life
of abuse…
it was burned into her tiny soul
that men
only wanted
and needed one thing
sex
and because
she was so ugly
skinny
and small
not only was she
lucky any boy
wanted to kiss
or touch her,
but she would never
have any of it
when she grew up
unless she changed
her outward appearance…

she would hide
in the closet
and eat slice after slice
of bread
hoping it would
make her butt big
but
it
never
did…
all around her
the girls developed
yet she stayed flat
she married
and divorced.
she was never happy
inside
until one day
she met
him
and as she
began to unravel
her story
being careful
not to tell too much
he listened
for hours on end…
one day they were out
having lunch and he teased her,
‘ya know, if you want boobs
you can pay for them,
butt implants too. today they can
just about do anything…’
his words
were her
secret
how could he know.
she quickly shook
her head
and said,
‘no, i like my body.’
(total lie)
so they went about life
meeting each other
weekly for lunches
an occasional dinner
and one night
as they walked along
the beach
she felt brave,
she could feel her faith
well up inside as she said,
‘ya know. i have always wanted boobs’
he started belly laughing
and then she was laughing
and then the two of them
were lying in the sand
giggling together…
he turned toward her and said,
‘i’m glad you told me.
now let’s go get you some boobs…’
he wanted nothing
in return
for her telling him
her secrets
accept to make her smile
and begin to live
her truths…

magic exists
fairy tales do come true
faith gives you courage
God is not dead
He lives within…
not just her,
but all who believe
and trust Him…
may your faith buoy you,
always
may you heal internally
from any wrong done to you
may you wake up
tomorrow and every day
after that
knowing

YOU
ARE
ENOUGH…

and, by the way,
it’s ok to get the boobs,
as long as you are
only
getting
them
for
YOURSELF

 

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