putting on your cape at nautilus teachings

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how deep is
your shame box?
does it even have
a bottom?
do you have a ladder
or steps to climb out
of it?
in order to combat,
maybe even one day
defeat shame,
you must continually focus
yourself each day
on positive energy
otherwise
you will find yourself tumbling
down the red wooden steps
just because of a dreary day
when you hear shame saying,
“you are not important
you have nothing to do,
go waste your day
crying, pouting, pointing fingers…”
or a long list ahead
you know you will not accomplish
because shame says,
“you are never enough…”
put your hands over your ears
drop to your knees
and give it all to God…
the power of prayer
is undeniably encompassing
it fills you with His grace
giving you the buoyancy
to float amongst
the most contaminated memories
because it gives you
a blue fluid clean surface
every day of forgiveness…

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shame is damaging
and if you have lived
with it for your whole life time
it is addicting
because you can find
comfort in shame…
when we grow up feeling
worthless, stupid, ugly, fat,
when we have no voice
it is easy to just fall into
that comfort zone of,
“i was never anything,
so why do i think i am anything today?”
when this happens to me,
this is the time i look at
those two furry headed
tail waggers
and know beyond a shadow of a doubt
i am worthy
i am good
strong enough
that i have a voice
and that i have courage…
i can then refocus,
see the light
and feel the sunshine
grace, acceptance and forgiveness
through my faith…
shame can be a daily struggle
just like any other obsession
and you must work every day
to fight it
you must stand strong

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and not let the tears
take over your emotions
and run your life
you cannot let
what happened to you
for so long
suck up the rest of your energy
you deserve to be happy,
to laugh, love, create
paint, write, grow…
its time to refuse
to be boxed
ever again
if you need to occasionally
walk around the box
even peek into it
to work on healing
that is ok
because this is your journey
but never allow another person
event, opinion and words
to ever make you feel
less than you know
you are in your
heart and soul.
you have the power
to work through the shame
day by day,
step by step
moment by moment
knowing that there is going
to be months
maybe years
that this feeling
of shame is going to be
washed out with the tide
and that you are not
going to let it suffocate you…

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so tomorrow,
upon rising
greet the day
with a
“good morning, God,”
put your feet upon the floor
stand up
turn your face towards
the sun
and walk out the door
with confidence
knowing even if
someone or some thing
tries to bend you today
and throw you backwards
remember you put on your
cape of faith this morning,
and it is now time
to trust
not just yourself
but God.

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