reflection of life at nautilus teachings

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Reflection
Reflection
Reflection

I bounce down the same
Damn red steps
I lock myself up
In the same closet
I cry the tears of my youth
As if it were today

I need to
Let it all go

I feed upon my past
Because it gives inspiration
To my work
Yet I am stunted
And churning myself around
In the same cyclone of filth

I must
Crack
My soul open

If I am to begin to grow?

Stop
The madness

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Are you kidding?
Loose my colored identity?
Erase the memories which flow?
Swim upstream?
Wear an oxygen mask?
I need a theme?

My
Life
Is
My argument

I open my eyes each day to my fish friends
I step onto turquoise water colored wood floors
I slip my body into soft blacks and grays
I unfold my visions onto canvas with vibrant hues
As I listen to the meditation music of the sea

My
Life
Is
Silently cornered

Noise infiltrates my brain and makes me anxious
The dog barks and I jump
The timed waterfall pouring into my pool reminds me
That darkness will encompass me soon
I must light the candles throughout my home at dusk
To scare away the demons which blow in & out of my mind
And as the time to un-cocoon myself nears
I huddle into a corner and ask for internal patience

My
Life
Is
A puzzle missing a piece

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I must accept the failures of my mother
The weakness in her spirit
I must accept my father was broken
ruling over us in stone silence
I must accept my mother was tender
And kind and full of love
I must accept my father was
unable to demonstrate love
I must accept my demon brothers
To be like every other sibling
Brothers pick on sisters
They blame sisters
This is normal!!!

My
Life
Is
My truths

I must accept my truths
I must grow from love
I must bury the ugly
I must forget the hurt
I must bandage the wounds
I must grow up?

release or renew you choose
release or renew
you choose

Fuck that!!!

I am so damn mad and hurt
I don’t want to be different
I like who I am
I love my colors
Yes!!!
I suffer
Yes!!!
I hurt
Yes!!!
I stay
Huddled in corners
Writing words upon the wall
I sit
In silence
Painting images that rescued me
As
A
Child

What
Have
I
Learned ?

I learned
That I
Do
Have
A
Story
To
Tell
And
By
Sharing
My
Story
I

heal

believe
believe