the drive at nautilus teachings

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let me take you back:
you are small
in the back seat
of a car
or maybe hanging out
the very back
of a station wagon
the summer wind
is blowing
the sun is warm
you close your eyes
and dream…
summer sunday afternoons
were drive days.
after church
and a big dinner
we piled in the car
and dad drove…
around the park
down the long winding road
between towns
as we all sat.
not a word said,
as the crooners
like Dean Martin
Tony Bennett
Frank Sinatra,
to name few
serenaded my folks…
they always held hands
smiled at each other
and pretty much
ignored us in the back seat
unless we acted up…
once in a while we would
stop at dairy queen
but mostly
it was about
the
DRIVE…

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sometimes we
would end up at
my aunts house.
once in a while
we got to take the dog.
we waved at everyone we saw
exchanged nods and smiles
but it was the cool humid breeze
the feeling of floating
and the knowing
we were a family…
my dad worked long hours
went to college at night
and worked at the church
on saturdays,
so sunday
was our day.
the drives were never
very long
maybe an hour-
longer if we stopped
somewhere
but it embedded
in me a feeling
of absolute bliss…
these drives taught
me to love
classical music too.
on these days
dad would be somber
mom flat
they would not hold hands
and the drive was
a bit faster
but the wind
and sun still
cradled me…
as i grew up
my music interests
expanded to include
soft rock
and occasional kiss or led zeppelin song
but for the most part
it was barry manilow, barbara streisand, styx,
kansas, bj thomas, chicago, bee gees…
all mixed in with classical and the crooners…
i was never a hard rock chick
although i did venture to a few
outdoor concerts with my friends
just to experience it!
as an introvert
i found them terrifying
suffocating
and way tooooo loud!
are you giggling yet?
i knew from very young
that my calling
was inward
it was art
it was words
it was soft music
it was
the drive
of my youth
being played over
and over
like a skipping 45…

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when i was young
i loved driving
i would drive anywhere
getting lost
meant an adventure.
fast forward nearly 40 years
my life exists all within
a 10 mile range of everything-
right now
mid life
kids grown
starting families of their own
i have dogs…
i love my simple life
but get me off the beach
outside the view
of mother ocean
and i panic…
my husband says
we do not travel
because i am afraid
to leave DA BOYS!
to some extent
he is correct
but mostly
it’s because
somewhere
some how
some way
i lost the bug
to seek out…
oh, sure
put a sailboat at my dock
and i am outta here!
as per
cars, planes, trains-
my response will be
“i am good, thank you
for asking…”
i used to want to visit
a different island
every year
making sure
i walked the beaches
starting with
every letter
of the alphabet
collecting shells
leaving my footprint…
but being married to a surfer
changed all that…
i have no desire at all
to travel with him
so he can surf…
i want him to do that with
his boys!
do i want to go to ireland
so he can trace his
family tree-
NOPE…

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i want to see the great
paintings of the world
visit spain and soak up
Gaudi’s mosaic
be kissed in the church
he designed
visit Monet’s garden
take a fat tire tour
drift down the seine
wander through shops
buy some street art
i want to sail
around islands i’d love
go back to
Anegada
laze around at Cow Wreck beach
sip a cocktail
and breathe in
the beauty
of simplicity…
all the while singing
‘Anegada divida baby’
i just want the calm peace
the ocean
wind
and sun feed me…
i want to end my life
the way it began
floating around
listening to the crooners
holding my sweethearts hand
knowing
i am safe and loved
and that one day
mom and i
will be cruising through the clouds
in her convertible
top down
wind in our hair
sun on our face
holding hands
and giggling
while taylor swift sings
“and i had
the best day,
with you,
today…”

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