what is home at nautilus teachings

 

what comforts you
cradles you
encompasses you in peace
leading you to feel home
even if
you are not
physically there?

for me,
Home is the color blue
Whether swimming in the water
Painting with the various hues
Or just going there in my mind
Blue is my core and my center…
when i cannot sleep at night
i paint my dreams midnight blue
with turquoise bubbles…

Home are my paints and canvases
Upon this surface I create dreams
I rid myself of pain
I embark upon new journey’s
Paints and canvases still me
they heal me
they allow me to release
in words
splatters
long strokes
and vibrant colors
all i have held inside…

Home is where I can hide all my secrets
I can wrap them in journals
I can write them on walls
I can type them into my computer
But most of all I can leave them there
protected
safe
silent…
when the hurricane forced
us to leave last year
i fell to the floor in my studio
and wept
realizing
there was a chance
my whole world
could be washed away
forever…

Home is where beautiful silence exists
There is no noise, no televison, radio or words
when i am alone
There are no bodies which conflict
No schedules, no demands and no pain
In the quiet peace of home I breathe
in my faith
my strength
and the knowing
here,
i
am
safe…

Home is knowing there are no more corners
or closets i need to hide in…
only rounded soft curves of silky memories
Woven quilts with golden thread by my mothers hands
Breezes blowing through open windows
memories hung on walls
and every color tells
a healing story of my life…

Home is safe, home is open, home is free.

Me.
Only I
can explain my definitions…
each one of us sees home
as a completely different place…
Within the corners of my memories
Exist images and words to vile to survive,
yet somehow
every now and then
they blast at me from the beyond
and i find myself struggling
to not latch on to that which i
accepted as my life for so long…
i thought i was loved.
i thought love was pain.
i thought love was obedience.
i thought love left bruises
and made you cry…

I
Did
Survive.
I am my story
I am the teller
And
My words
Are my
Truth…

Defining home does not belong on magnets
T-shirts
Or
Bumper stickers
Home is defined in the heart
To reach the heart
One needs words
And one needs
An
Open soul
To listen…

I
Live
the definitions
Of home
Each
Day
In
Every
Way
In
Order
To
Breathe
To
Paint
To
Grow
To
Live…

If I were not to live my definitions of Home
I would be walking in the shadows which I let
Define me for way too many years
Home is me
Home is now

My writing
Needs home
It needs
Blue
Words
Blue chords
Blue
Tears,
The paper
Will
Be
My
Canvas
The
Words
My
paint
In releasing
My words
I
Allow
The windows
Of my home
To be
Opened
Wide
With
Trust
With
Faith
With
Strength
Quieting
My mind
Is essential
When
The world
Screams
Around me
I must
Learn
I
Am not
Alone
And
I
Can
Be
Where
There
Is
Intrusion
And
Still
Be
Safe,
So
I will
Roll
With
The
Tide
I
Will
Swim
With
The
Fishes
I
Will
Allow
Mr.
Hawksbills
Tethered
Movements
To
Sing
Me
To
Grace
And
I
Will
Become
A
Mermaid
Who
One
Day
Will
Swim
Far
Far
Away
From
The
madness
knowing no matter where i go
i am
truly
home…