who i am -nautilusteachings

stand in line
stand in line

i am caught up
in the rush of morning
having overslept by
15 minutes
i began the day
with a stress lump
in my throat
i had been going non-stop
since January
and the anticipation
of a night away
was bouncing
around my head
like new lights on
a christmas tree…
some hours later,
i found myself
surround by toxicity…
my first instinct was to run
to close down
to curl up under some
red wooden steps
and disappear…

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but i found myself
filled with an
unbelievable calm inside
a warm humming
that coated my nerves
with healing balm.
as the voices
at times growing louder
all around me.
the hum turned to
melodic music
so encompassing
that all i could do was
be still and listen to God.
11 years ago
this would have never occurred…

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i would have felt wounded,
a target
guilty of something
i just did not do
because of the words
being hurled by
a poisonous mouth…
yet today,
i am balanced
i have buoyancy
and I thank my
Nautilus
which is the center of my life
which is
my faith
which
is
God…
i have always walked in faith
always believed in God
but breaking wide open
when i was 41
set me upon a path
full of growth, acceptance
and forgiveness…
i already prayed every day,
went to church every Sunday
what i was not doing
was putting God
in the center of
my entire life…

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slowly as i began
to get rid of toxins
i had been carrying and
replacing them
with truth
i bloomed
i was overcome with
such peace
and happiness
that i knew i needed
to share
it with you all…
i healed through
writing,
photography,
art,
meditation,
prayer
to name a few…
conventional methods
of psychotherapy just
did not work for me
because
i am different
i needed to heal
through the creative process
and
i
did…

justfrontjournal justnautiluscoverfinal
writing my
Nautilus : A Message of Faith
opening up my soul
to you all
meant taking a risk
yet,
as you all know
i choose to live true
so….
here i am-
i am an artist
a writer
a christian
and
i
want to help
those of you who
would like help
to heal
to balance
to be happy
and this blog of mine
is just another way
of letting you all know
you
are
not
alone…

be still and listen
be still and listen