Your truth at nautilus teachings

you can never
understand
or agree with
100%
of everything
the person you love
does
thinks
feels
remembers
dwells on…
when you have lived
an abusive
hurt filled life
and then
one day
you
find
love…
life changes.
it does not mean you forget
the horrors of your past
nor can you erase them…
it opens up a clean page
gives you a new canvas
a fresh palette
it convinces your heart
you
are
worthy…
when you feel
true love
for the first time
it changes you.
you wake up happy.
you live loved,
meaning
no fear
no questions
you begin
to trust…
in this trusting
you grow
confidence
worth
strength
you begin for the first time
to
love
yourself…
your head is held high
your eyes focused
your heart
beats out their name
your breaths
are full
and not
erratic,
anxiety
disappears…
for once
you
feel
whole.
being loved
for who you are
is a gift.
what happens
when the memories
come back?


when you wake in
night terrors
start flinching again
when the person you love
tells you
let that shit go
don’t dwell on it
it’s not healthy?
what if
you feel inside
clarity
over old events
you believed were
your fault
yet memories reveal
it was not you
at all, and never was…
what if
you started
remembering
the truth?
what if you refused
to stop
because you knew
deep down
releasing it all
was actually healing you?
what if
the person you loved
disagreed with you?
do you pursue
the unbinding
of fault?
here’s the thing,
only you know
what makes you smile
feel beautiful
or loved
only you
can look into
someones eyes
and know
he
is
the
one…
do you retreat?
give up?
listen and obey?
or do you reach out
wait for the right moment
to tell the person you love
i need this to grow
heal
and love you.


without acceptance of your past
without completely understanding
your part in your past
you cannot give them 100%
of your heart.
is it hard for them to watch you hurt
are they tired of hearing your story?
do they think you need help?
so many questions
you ask of yourself
but what you truly want to say is,
what is wrong with you
how can you not see
i am healing
do i have days when i am mad,
maybe take it out on you?
are there times when i sit
for hours typing away
rehashing memories
to help other people heal too?
why does a line need to be drawn?
why does a journey need to be stopped?
who says what you are doing is wrong?
maybe
just
maybe
what you think
say
write
and
feel
hurts them
because they see a tiny bit
of themselves in your pain
or they want to kill
the person who hurt you
maybe
just maybe
you are hitting to close to home
maybe
instead of striking out
you just hit
a home run
to their soul…
step onto your own path
choose to feel
your life
but never
forget
reality…
you
are
loved
by someone
who hates the fact
that they could never
save you from your past
who wishes they
could just flip a switch
and erase your memory
or unplug your
battery almost dead
sign
flashing in neon signs
across your forehead…
accept
you are worthy of love
let go of the past
unlearn old habits
let all that shit go
and look into the eyes
of the one who silently
sits across the table from you
pleading with their own eyes
for you to see
everything you are blind to
they love you
want you in their life
and are willing to sit with you
during your tsunami’s
of pain
they are your white flag
your sandy beach
the hand that holds you
they
are
your
truth…