55 year old bladder at nautilus teachings

 

do you remember
the days
when you were young,
standing on the corner
after school
with your girlfriend
twirling your hair
giggling and
talking about your
latest crush
life was simple
when we
were young…
we had parents
who took care of us
cooked us meals
cleaned the house
while we got to ride
our bikes
hang with our friends
have fun
talk on the phone~
whatever we wanted…

it’s not like that
when you are an adult.

this morning, i knew
was going to be
the beginning of
a crazy flipping week…
working for doc
while i am a full time granny
is slightly stressful
on both of us…
one,
he really wants
a secretary there all day
but let’s be honest here,
sitting at a desk
reading a book
while waiting for the phone
to ring
is just not on sheri’s list of
‘oh my gosh i cannot wait to…’
so when our amazing
office manager goes on
her cruises~
she takes as many as
she wants a year
because we love her
and so so so appreciate all
she does,
i call her docs office wife
as she has had the second
longest female relationship
with him besides
his sainted mother
margaret francis catherine stewart!

~i in turn fill in~
(in the loosest sense of the word!)

when she is gone
i kinda fill in by
being there
maybe 3 hours a day
with the understanding
i still get a full paycheck!!!
today our grandson
was dropped off
placed in his walker
and began tooling
around the tiny office…
quickly he got bored~
duh~
so we went next door to my studio
and i let him crawl around
and pull out anything he wanted,
his favorite being the candy jar
these tiny foil wrapped goodies
mesmerized him
and he stayed content
trying to suck on
every one of them
until it was almost time to go,
which was awesome…
so while i answered
the phone
filed the paperwork
did the billing
got up every 30
seconds to redirect
our grandsons curious
toddlerhood
and discovery
of this very amazing
world around him
i ignored my
knock, knock, knocking
bladder
and refocused my own
thoughts on what i needed
to do before leaving
to drive the big
1/2 mile home…

i rounded up Ryland
put him in the stroller
as i cleaned up
and locked up
my studio
then cleaned
up d’s office
i grabbed my purse
and my grandson
turned around
to leave
and
BAM!
a patient
was waving and smiling at me…
as i smiled back
guess what?

granny began
wetting her pants!
d opened the door
i passed Ry to him
and dashed down the hall
i am sure leaving
a trail behind me…
i am still giggling from this
because i hate that the Kegel exercises
just have not worked
very well
and i refuse to go on
the yellow pill to help me
this early in life!

as i returned back to the office
both d and his patient were giggling
as she said,
‘i recognized that potty dance!
it happens to me all the time!’
we all laughed
i packed up Ry
and off we went
the short drive home
to change
him and me!

i miss the bladder of my youth
the flat tummy
being able to eat anything i wanted
sleeping all night
being able to actually be cold
having thicker
tougher skin
that doesn’t bruise or tear
under arms that don’t sag
i miss the freedom
of not having a list
every
flipping
day
that ultimately wakes me
by 5am
ramping up
without coffee
to
hurry, hurry, hurry
and get it all done…

so,
over the next week to 10 days
as our kids rise late
go to bed late
eat us out of house
and home
drink more liquor
in a day than we do in a month
my few goals are~
to not ignore my bladder
sleep more
not to pee my pants
stress less
go, even if i don’t think i have to
soak up every moment
pretend i am potty training myself
listen to all their stories
carry extra underwear in my purse
hug them close
cut back on my water intake
take lots
of photos
on the real camera
pull out of the back of the closet
my old panty liners
from days gone by
and actually wear them
and just
enjoy
being a mom again
if only for a short time…