a moms memory at nautilus teachings


do some traditions
need to be saved?
are there holiday
that take all your energy
and you find
the family
is just ‘eh’ about it?
i had a very
enlightening conversation
with a dear friend
this week
about change…
not just in our lives
but in society as a whole…
i think about my kids
and wonder
will they carry on
the magic of any holiday
from the tooth fairy
to the easter bunny
and of course santa…
only 62% of people
send any type of
christmas card
through the snail mail…
this is one of my traditions
i love-
i paint my card
print my card
address them all
and mailing them
has always been
‘an event…’
for most of my adult years
i would pile the entire family
in the car,
santa hats on
christmas carols playing
on the night before
we would pull up
in the dark
to the blue box
get out
and everyone
put a stack inside…
after that, it was
a special desert
as we all gathered
around the fire
to share our lists
of what we would like
for christmas…

those were the days!

thanksgiving day
has now passed by,
our christmas twinkle lights
look brilliant
against the black sky
our grandson
fell asleep
to sparkling
white lights
we are all very full
and happy…

tomorrow begins
the madness of
countdown to christmas…
black friday alone
draws thousands
out of their home
tonight to stand in line
and in some cases fight
for the lowest prices
ever seen
on so many items,
but the big ones are

a big chunk of people
will cyber shop
until their carts
are bursting
as far as their
credit limit
will allow
while they sit in
their jammies
sipping coffee
eating leftover
basking in the glory
of not having to
in order to
fulfill all the wishlists
they have lined up
wide eyes
and smiles
on christmas morning…

i love the fact
that kids still get excited
about the
fat man in the red suit
to magically appear
while they sleep
box after box
all wrapped
and tagged,

life is about
all those
‘magic’ times
and in a way
even though
our way
may have been
capturing it all
on our 35mm cameras
using the dishes
our grandparents used
cooking foods
we grew up with…
what we perceive
as traditions
they just think of it like,
‘oh, man mom always makes….
on christmas…’
‘every year on my birthday,

i dare you to try and ‘spark’
their minds
‘do you remember when…’
‘every year you…’
i have tried over and over
with all three of my kids
and i always get the same answer,
‘i don’t remember that…’
thank goodness
i have all my photos
of them in albums
to prove the fact
that yes in deed
not only did they,
but my living proof
soon appears before
aging eyes
as i smile
nod my head
point my finger
and say,
‘hmmmm, look at this photo,
what are you doing here?!!!’
as i grin ear to ear
nodding my head,
signifying the words,
‘i told you so…’
because i am
i have not just video proof
but even
tape recorded
that yes,
as a small boy
you did think you were ariel
and happily sang
in the bathtub saying,
‘mommy i’m a mermaid…’

it’s our birthright
as their parents
to gently
and blissfully
continue to
our children
with traditions
hoping one day
as we sit silently
smacking our gums together
eating our pureed veggies
out of the
‘don’t forget mom has to have
that cracked bowl with the flowers
for some reason’
as our elderly brains
want to shout out
‘because it was my
fucking grandmothers,
that’s why’
we just look up
our head
and quietly
pull out of our pocket
that one embarrassing photo
we have of our grown child
when they were 2
and peeing on a tree
proudly showing it to
our teenage
as they exclaim,
‘dad, is that you?’