a soft place to land at nautilus teachings

8bf59bb7ab679c1aa9c78790aa698605

the woman
had suffered loss
young
before she knew
her direction
or what her
true north was
heck,
she did not even know
her favorite
song, color, food…
no one taught her
how to let go
no one showed her
how to heal
or embraced her
letting her cry
for days on end,
in fact
no one allowed her
to mourn at all…
she was to take this loss
like it was no big deal
get up the next day
take care of the kids
cook, clean, create
and when the house was empty,
when HE
had left
the family gone home
she found herself
numb…
her tiny son
was the only thing
that kept her going
he was on a schedule
thanks to the person she lost…
lost.
did she loose her?
if so,
can she find her?
for weeks, months
which turned into years
her heart was missing a piece
skipping a bigger beat
than it ever had before
and still
no one talked about death…

87063b936961495cc41c741e69fe34d5
for a long time
she would dial up the phone
and speak,
“so…i really miss _____…”
but no one talked
they just changed the subject
so she sat
crying alone
needing just one person
to say,
“i miss her tooooooooo…”
but that never happened.
not by her dad
her aunt
her friends
her brothers…
and still now,
29 years after,
she mourns
for the loss
of the person
who held her heart
who taught her to walk
talk
sing
dance
love
give…
and to everyone else
it’s as if she never existed…
loss is hard
we deserve to mourn
to cry
to talk
to be heard…
yet for me,
this is what happened
when i lost my mother.
truly,
i say to you
still today
i cannot share with anyone
how much i ache
with the longing
to be able to go back
in time and say,
“mom, i never knew
you were really dying…
they all said you were not
they all lied…”
this is my truth.
what i live with,
every day
of my life.
my message today is simple-
sit
listen
accept
have the conversations
hug
break
hurt
love
and then you can heal…
if we allow our friends
and family a space
for loss
we gift to them
friendship
kindness
understanding…
for each tear we catch
we hold a memory
each sob we embrace
we say,
“you are not alone, i am here…”
each morning they cannot rise
and we open their front door
with coffee and bagels
we say,
“i understand you need time
so i will nourish you…”
all the texts we send
the calls we make
the messages we leave-
they do get them
but they are feeling their way
through loss…

2a0ba6a9e0184ed5cbe9df8331c603a4
there is no set time limit
on how long we grieve
so be patient with them
keep a close eye on them
be in the knowing
that they are really ok…
don’t force them to mend quickly
don’t tell them to
“get over it…”
some people never do
that is a fact.
what i do
is embrace each person
i know and love
for who they are
at any given moment
because sometimes
they are cray cray
or angry
or silent
we must
must
must
as loving
forgivning
children of God
understand
we
are just human
full of flaws
and really,
when you think about that
about us all
being changeable
moldable
like a wad of silly putty
that one tiny
bit of knowledge
let’s us see
the importance
of being a reflection
of light and love…
people die.
people break up,
they get divorced…
all they need from you
is a soft place to land
not judgement
direction
a lecture…
love,
they
need
unconditional love
from
you…

dcaba9d47b5a083e35c23d71f705eefd