after the boxes at nautilus teachings


i woke up
thinking about boxes.
how for the most part
boxes are used
to hold things
we are no longer using
but can’t yet let go of…
we pack them to mail
presents in
but once opened
they are broken down
and recycled
into new boxes
for someone else to
pack up
send off
rip up
or stash in a closet
filled with remnants of their life…
i have always liked boxes
have always had special boxes
and a year ago
i actually made 11
art boxes
and gave them as gifts…
each one depicting
on the outside of the box
how each person presents themselves
to the world
but when they opened them up
it revealed how i saw them
on the inside…
it was pretty cool
and extremely moving
to watch them all open
up their boxes…
i gave them to each person
one at a time…
they all loved them
but the common link
was them knowing
i knew who they really were…

i lived in boxes my whole life
always afraid to journey outside
but when my life changing tsunami
hit me in 2005,
when i broke completely open
falling to my knees
for the millionth time
asking God to take over my life
i decided
more boxes…
i never really ever found
magic in any box i opened
and almost all of the boxes
were thrown away
which is exactly what i did
with the life i had created
for 42 years…
but i did go back
to the one box
i held tight to
as a child
pop off the lid
for all the world to see
under the red wooden steps world
of tiny fish,
waving seagrasses
mermaid friends
and wise old mr hawksbill
who was, and still is, my guide…
this Christmas
as you
unwrap all your boxes
i wish you the gift
of looking past the
pretty paper
and boxes
that are all shoved
into a big green garbage bag
once opened…
look at their faces
see the glow
soak it all up
sit with it
as long as you can
seal it in memory…
and on those days
when your tired old body
wants to give up
when you are sitting alone
children grown and gone
all you need do is crack the lid
as the tiny pieces of remembrance
flood you with
love and warmth…
Merry Christmas…