aftermath at nautilus teachings



i sit in silence
as my AC blows
cool, clean air.
my hubby is asleep
in the spa
resting his weary bones
from climbing for
the umpteenth time
on the roof to clear it
of dead leaves,
raking the yard,
and picking up all
the twigs which had
fallen in the last week…
i finish setting up
the studio
lugging yet another
large garbage bag of debris
haul home another
bucket of wet towels
stick dinner in the oven
start laundry
and now sit perched
thinking about
every single family
who is suffering
right this very moment
due to flooding
i cannot
even begin to imagine
how broken they feel
our tiny beach town
was saved…
no one i knew
complained about being
without power
or water
no one fretted over
the inability to find
their favorite foods
or how far they had to drive
to get gas…
they just picked up all
the strewn pieces
and began again
silently crying inside
yet at the same time
feeling gratitude
that we all still had
a life to fold ourselves
back in to…

every inch of us
every hair
every bone
our minds
are blank
our thoughts
strewn amongst
the last month of
evacuation (for some)
hunkering down (for others)
calling our loved ones
just to hear their voices
hoarding water, gas, canned food
making videos of our homes
our lives…
it’s lost among the
high winds battering
our homes and trees
the intense water
rising, falling,
non stop
it’s lost in our prayers
our hopes
our wishes
our thoughts
and our awakening to
the gift
of yet another day
living in paradise…
only the world we see
looks bleak
torn up
signs ripped apart
tree limbs everywhere
yet for the most part
our homes in tact
our loved ones
and pets safe
even our businesses
seem to have weathered
this storm…
so we blink at
the blinding sun
look up at the blue sky
and we still feel sad…
we know
there are people
their offices drenched
beyond a shadow of a doubt
but we don’t feel happiness
we cannot just go out
and begin again
our friends
our community
needs help
to re-open
to heal
to thrive
to just
make ends meet…

living in paradise
requires us to pay
a very high price
it requires us
to have faith
that as the quote states,
“if you build it
they will come…”
will they?
or will they go to a shiny new place
that is more hip
up to date
and offers them the new
and unknown?
for me,
i love
because it is like
coming home…
i want to know that
Juice and Java
and Coconuts
to name a few
will have open doors
with all the familiar
faces we love…
i want to walk through
and still hug the fabulous
and staff
who have faithfully served us
day after day,
year after year…
i want to walk the beach
at 4N
find tiny treasures
say hello to
mother ocean
and let her wash
away all my sorrows…
i want to watch
the surfers
ride those waves
letting the water
kiss their board
as their toes
hang off the edge
as they grin ear to ear
and slowly roll off
their board
only to rise up
once more
as they gracefully
ride to shore
land upon the sand
hug the people they love
twirl their kids
around in the air
and embrace
this gift
this amazing
wonderful blessing
we call life…
i step back
glance at my
redo of my tiny studio
and smile…
all you need is the
of a mustard seed..”
i like teaching in my tiny refuge
i love living in
my small town,
i love donating
to the library
art and teaching books
i love talking to the crew
who is fixing our
cape royal
i love helping my husband
get his business
back up and running
i love seeing familiar faces
exchanging stories
and i love
listening to the voices
echo across my tiny church
knowing God
has saved us…
i don’t ask why
i look up to the heavens
and say
thank you
i feel gratitude…
i still feel sad
because so many families
are suffering
have lost it all
i know i cannot do anything
to change this…
we are all small.
yet we all have the power
to love
to listen
to be kind
to help
to hold…
for me,
each day
i pause
take in everything
surrounding me
and know this
one truth…
with my faith
i am big…