Aging at nautilus teachings

you are not old!
you are not old!

there is an unfolding
as we age
a letting go of corners
an unraveling of boundaries…
the acceptance
we may never be
more than we are…
that who we are
and what we have
must be enough.
yet, in this uncrease
of all the layers
we have built upon
our journey
the words
once held captive
now slip out
the bare truth is revealed
where once was beauty
now is empty
in the expanse of age
we drop all illusions
of fairy tales
princes on white horses
making it big
of having just one spouse
with many children
leaving us blossoming in age
with grandchildren and in-laws…
on display for all to see
is our flatness
our scarred up
smudged
torn edges
which are now developing brown spots
there is a yellowing
and a breaking apart
of the foundation
with which we grew from.
we find ourselves unwrapped
holding onto pain
which has caused spidery lines
upon our aging self
birthdays, holidays, anniversaries
are just another day
for all the bright colored balloons have popped
the flowers grow outside like weeds
and if we have that bite of cake
our hips will wear it…
we don’t roll out of bed
but unroll ourselves,
sags, wrinkles and jiggles
and we carefully place our crinkled toes
upon the cool floored surface
being careful not to trip over
our aging dog,
our flip flops by the bed
and most importantly-ourselves…
we are disentangling our life
boxing up memories
our kids truly don’t want
donating clothes, furniture, books and more
so maybe someone will look at that
ugly sweater you received as a gift
and just love it and take it home
we pay off our debt, count our pennies
and pray a rich relative dies and leaves us everything!
it’s a slow process this unfolding
we do it our whole life
but we only notice it
when everyone is gone,
grown up and building their own lives
as we silently sit wondering do they
love you, hate you, like you…
whatever they feel
it does not change the fact
that in our unraveling
we derive
the essence of life
for we are just like the Giving Tree
we are a stump of memories
waiting ,patiently hoping
for just one person
to take the time
to come and play with us once more…

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