anger and silence at nautilus teachings


the silence after anger
is deafening…
if you will,
being in a room
where a person
is yelling so loud
your head pounds
the words are ugly
because this person
cannot think or see straight
they are blinded by anger
it may or may not
have been your fault
but your were obviously
their last straw
you cannot leave
because if you try
they follow you
with an endless supply
of long, loud
out of control
streaming at you
like the fastest wifi:
802.11ac & 802.11ad…
do you know what the above means?
i certainly don’t speak tech
nor do i speak anger
and the person catapulting those words
is just as hard to understand
as the numbers above…
blind fury
mad as a hornet
barking mad
utterly furious
storming angry…
to name a few,
may all describe
how this person is acting
but for you-
you are ready to go back
to dial up
and long to hear the words,
‘you’ve got mail…’
you can already
hear the waterfall
lulling you into numbness
you know the ocean
is calling your name
wanting to tickle your toes
and entice you to
splash and play…

but just like any record
with a scratch
that is left unattended
the words keep
ping ponging off of the walls
the couch
but mostly
your soul…
you can’t even think straight
as you try to recall,
‘what the heck did i do?
not do?
not say?
but your brain
pretty much looks like
an unsolved rubik’s cube…
in an instant you hear
suuuuuuuuuck in of air
the wooooosh of breathing
and you know
they are winding down
all the curve balls
are straightening out
and eventually
they strike out
wear out
walk out
and sit
then the deafening silence
how long until this person
is approachable again
you do not know,
so you crawl into bed
and cry yourself to sleep
knowing in the morning
the apologies will begin…
you really don’t want to hear
‘i’m sorry…you just were the last straw,
my week has been…
at the office there is…
my parents are…
the kids were…’
what you want
is for them to rise
go to work
and to
but NO!
you pretend to sleep
but are woken up,
‘honey, listen, last night…’
then, at last your are alone
and the texts begin
‘i’m really sorry…’
and you know come dinner time
there will be a conversation…
why is this?
why do you have to talk about it?
can’t life just go on?

according to the Dalai Lama
we must think,
‘why did this happen?
this person is not my enemy…
certain circumstances
caused them to be negative towards me…
we need to check our own attitude,
making sure we were not a contributing factor
to their explosion….
you can then see that this person’s actions
are due to their own destructive emotions.
you can develop a sense of concern, compassion,
even feel sorry for their pain…
how sad this person is out of control.
now you feel sorry the the other person…’
never in a million-trillion years
would i have ever analyzed anger like this.
but, when i read this-
i almost fell over
like i was just flicked in the head.
a search light went on
and soon i was on google
reading parts of way too many to count
websites on anger…
so now,
here i sit.
it is quiet,
the boys are asleep
i re-read the words
over and over.
i print them out in bold letters
hang it in every room
and then i still.
anger and the silence
that follows are both
but as the Dalai Lama
so perfectly states at the end of this chapter,
‘ you are made of perfection,
but you are not yet perfect.
you are a masterpiece in the making.’
and never forget
there are two sides
to every story.
the lesson i pulled from all of this?
think before speaking
have empathy
be kind
pause frequently
and the next time anger
is in the room with you
more than likely
it’s not even about you,
it’s about them.
once you realize
you cannot hug it out at that moment
you can choose
don’t feed the lion
tame the beast.