bad girl? at nautilus teachings

 

She wanted it
This she knew
From the core of her being
The word
Yes, yes, yes
Echoed
Do it
Take it
Be it…

“but what if you fall
What if you hate it
What if it scares you
What if the rope snaps
Or you break your back
What if you DIE?…”

“lol,
Really
You are such a baby
I’ll do it
I’m not afraid
Looks like fun
What’s the worst that could happen
Plus, he’s so cute, ask him
I tried it, it was easy…”
“I’m glad I’m not a girl
What a pain in the ass
All this thinking
Who has to think
It looks awesome
What an adventure
Shit
You only live once
Who cares if I die
At least I died trying
Give me beer
(he slugs it down
And JUMPS)

“what the fuck do I care,
Nobody would miss me
I live life on the edge
I do what I want
When I want
Fuck you all
I’m doin’ it
‘Cause I can…”

“Good Lord
Sweet Jesus
She’s gonna do it
I caint believe it
Can you
Wooohooohooohooo
That girl
Just gone
And done it
I declare
She is one tough hussy…”

“well,
Back in my day
Girls did not behave in that manner
We took orders
We followed directions
We stayed at home
Had the babies
And took care of our man…”

“mom,
What is the big deal
Just say it
What are you afraid of
Leave
Just do it
Tell him to fuck off
I hate him
I
Will tell him
Mom
Really
You are being a baby…”
“Sher,
There is nothing about this
In the Bible
You must do what your heart
Tells you to do
You must follow your feelings
God will guide you
When your time is up, it’s up
Live your life
And have faith that
God will protect you…”

“do not call me again
Until you have gotten rid of him
I don’t want to hear
Your whining
I don’t want to hear
Your complaints
You know what to do
I cannot take it any more
I am your best friend
But until you kick him out
My phone is on mute…”

“Cut
Print
That’s a
Wrap!
Hey did we get to
The part
Where
She
Said
“Fuck you”
To everyone
Jumped in the ocean
And landed
Ass up on the beach
Naked?”

she
Was soulfully naked
Stripped of colors
Mute of words
she had been the bad girl
In darkness
she screwed a few men
In silence
she fucked the pool boy
In corners
she masterbated
she tried to drown herself
Several times with shame
she tried to be a good girl
Good wife
Perfect daughter
Great sister
Best friend
she tried
And
Tried
And
Then
she broke the lock upon
Perfectionism
And began her experiment
she left the sofa pillows messed up one night
And smiled
Left a few dirty dishes in the sink til morning
Then put them in dishwasher unrinsed
Did not make the bed
Just rolled out and began her day
Did not take a shower for two days
And did not smell too bad
Went out of the house without makeup
And felt naked
Stopped going to church
And found her faith grew deeper
Stopped listening to the voices which she grew up with
Because they were poison
And
she walked into the ocean
Let herself float free
And washed in
Upon a crashing wave
Butt ass naked
Just her
The sun, sand, water
How peaceful
she looked up toward the sky
And down the vast empty beach
And said,
“Don’t look at me in that tone of voice world!”
Giggled
And realized
she had
Become
A
Ya Ya Sister
And true to the ending
Of this movie
When Sidda says to her daddy,
“Daddy, did you get loved enough?”
she will reply
With a full heart
And a free
spirit
“What’s enough?
My question is,
did you?”