disrespect by adult children-nautilusteachings

 

no worries
no worries

the baby of the family
grows up
observing…
they soak up
words
energy
eccentricity
which surrounds
them,
for they are the closest
to the floor
and can easily
hide
in
silent
stillness…

colleen collins
of providence college writes,
“First-born children are usually introverted and relatively mature for their age.
Often middle children have nothing about them that make them feel special and worthy of their family’s attention (Stewart et al, 2001). Last-born children are believed to be the most creative, emotional, extraverted, disobedient, irresponsible and talkative (Herrera, et. al., 2003). “

i am the baby of 4
i am an introvert
i am creative
an artist and writer
so from birth
i never fit into this ‘mold’…
i was a quiet watcher
learning
everything
i
would
and
would
not
do…
the most important being
to love and worship God
and to never, ever
disrespect my parents…

trust your faith
trust your faith

as an observer
disrespecting
conversations can be heard
most places you visit
i was born in the 60’s
we got our first tv
when i was 6
we sat as a family
every Sunday
after church,
a nice dinner
and watched
animal kingdom
and the wonderful world of disney…
this is a warm memory for me
because my mother
would always have a special treat
sometimes a new product
like bugels or nacho cheese doritos
our favorite was always
rootbeer floats…
i brought my kids up
with movie and pizza
family nights on the sofa,
we went to church,
celebrated holidays-
just a normal upbringing

except the fact that i chose
to marry a poisonous man.
after 15 years
i broke it apart…

starting over
starting over

i knew i had raised my kids
to be independent
self thinkers
hard workers
and creative
and that is exactly
how they all turned out.
except
every now and then
one of them
echoes
the poisonous
verbal assaults
that their father used
and it is at this time
i need to make a choice.
The Fifth Commandment says: “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you.”
so, as i sit before you
writing this
i am 53 and have
learned many lessons
about parenting…
the most important
reflects my childhood
“be an observer of their life
once they leave home…”
which leads me to the question
“how does one deal with disrespect
in an adult child?”

love them anyway
love them anyway

although your first instinct
may be to put soap in their mouth
or even argue
DON’T!
if you breathe in and out
the stillness of your faith
giving it all to God
you will be encompassed with
a healing balm of His love.
no,
it won’t take away their words
but seeing you smile
is soundless revenge.
as my mother always said,
“Sheri, just kill them with kindness…
because in the end
only
kindness
matters…”

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