dots of forgiveness-nautilusteachings

here comes the rain
here comes the rain

there are days
when the rains come
when you wish
them away,
“please don’t come,
please don’t come,
stay away
stay away…”
there are days when
the pain of remembrance
overwhelms you
locking you once more
within the iron cage
of memory.

you know the feeling.
it starts with a sprinkling-
a familiar taste,
scent
image
color
it begins with just one
and soon you are covered
in dots
of consciousness .
you’ve trained your mind
to deflect
the emotions
of pain
you sealed up your scars
with the balm of
your faith…
you gave it all to God
you released
asked for forgiveness
felt His healing power
take over your life…
yet at this moment
your skin is being spotted
with the familiarity of your past…
once more you fall to your knees
“Lord,
i give it to you…
hold me
heal me
don’t let me fall”

Lord, hold my heart
Lord, hold my heart

the veil of darkness
begins to lift
as you walk onward
back into your life…
rounding the corner
you feel the sting
of the last words hurled at you
the last slap upon your cheek….
pausing,
you breathe in…
you don’t want this memory
you’ve already given it to God
why at this moment
in your happy life
is it washing over you
flooding you with pain…
sprinkles,
tiny sprinkles
like baby kisses
from the morning rain
you release
let it go
as the tears
cascade
down your cheeks
as your soul
echoes the pain
the suffocation
felt so long ago…
for three minutes
you loose the grounding
of your faith
three long minutes
your face is pointed up
towards His Grace

shine on me, Lord
shine on me, Lord

you call out the words
“why now Lord?
what have i done to deserve
this resurgence
of upwellings..?”
and just as you
start to succumb to
the acceptance
of your shredded past
walking old footpaths
feeling unworthy
God’s
warmth
encompasses
you…
goosebumps
surface upon your skin
you hear His words
His song
of your youth,
“Jesus loves me…”
you feel the familiar
clasp of His hand
His fingers entwining with yours
as He lifts you into His arms
cradling you.
you feel
release of sprinkled memory…
you lay your head upon His shoulder
and breathe in the familiar
aroma of His
grace, light, love, energy, acceptance
faith and forgiveness-

"GLLEAFF"
“GLLEAFF”

the essence of your Faith…
He is the eye
the center of your life
as you continue on your journey
peaks of golden sunlight
shine through the clouds
turning the specks of
your scarred remembrance
into faded photographs
of healing forgiveness.