Envy at nautilus teachings

 

 

 

Envy

desire to have a quality, possession,
or other desirable attribute belonging to (someone else):

Envy

a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities, or luck:

it is a sin.

I would dream of being prettier
Smarter, more talented…
I had dreams over and over
Where I did not stutter
And they were lovely…
Dreams of brothers who wanted to be with me
Of a father who would lead us in campfire songs
And a mother who could save the whole world from hunger!

Envy

When you wish you had someones looks, talent, nice car and personality but you don’t so you badmouth them to make yourself look better or them look worse. It’s called leveling and practiced by those with low self esteem/insecurity.

I learned to accept my limitations
My punishments
My truths
And the bandage around my lips
Grew weeds
Not having a voice in the world
kept me silent and
Led me to coloring my way out

Envy

Envy comes from the Latin word invidere, which literally means “look upon.” You know when you say something funny or smart and someone gives you the evil eye? Envy all the way. Envy can be used as a noun or as a verb: Envy (noun) is the feeling you have when you envy (verb) what someone else has.

The brilliant hues reflected my feelings
And black lines around each shape-their own bondage from escape
I held tight to the one “talent” I had-creating beauty on paper
Soon that faded
And I was lost in trying to keep up with everyone

Envy

It’s no fun to feel envy or jealousy because both make you feel inadequate. Envy is when you want what someone else has, but jealousy is when you’re worried someone’s trying to take what you have. If you want your neighbor’s new convertible, you feel envy. If she takes your husband for a ride, you feel jealousy.

Why couldn’t I stay focused like my friends
Where was my passion
I sat in corners cradling my baby dolls ‘til I was 14
From their I found my way to the kitchen
Began baking and watching the world just fly by outside
always retreating to some ‘closet’
to release my dreams of
whimsical color…

Envy

1. a feeling of grudging or somewhat admiring discontent aroused by the possessions, achievements, or qualities of another
2. the desire to have for oneself something possessed by another; covetousness
3. an object of envy

I saw girls who could speak, teach, twirl…
I did all that too-only it was inside my head
I wanted to try out for cheerleading
I wanted to compete in art shows
I wanted to submit my writings for publications
But I believed I
“just did not have that competitive gene”
No drive or ambition to conquer
Or set out on my own
But inside I was bursting to runaway

Envy

the feeling that you wish you had something that someone else has

I would stare at women with boobs
Wishing I had them
I denied to my husband that I wanted them
And then one day I spoke
“ya know, I really want boobs to match my thighs…”
he giggled at me
And said
“ok, let’s do it”
“Wait”, I thought, “you can get things by speaking?
So all those dreams still may come true?”

Envy

Envy is pain at the good fortune of others

I had them now
My DD’s on this 5’10” body
And I balanced on the outside
Now I needed
The
Antithesis
On
The
Inside

Envy

Synonyms
covetousness, enviousness, green-eyed monster,
invidiousness, jealousy, resentment

She waltzed into my studio,
Camera in hand
Short hair
Free spirit
And I
Fell into wishing
I wanted to be her
She spoke honestly
She dressed casually
Tiny in stature
Tall in confidence
And bursting
With flavor
And color

Envy

Both the Psalms and Proverbs warn against the temptation of becoming envious of evil men when they seem to prosper in spite of their wrongdoing (Pss 37:1; 73:2, 3; Prov 3:31; 23:17; 24:1, 19).

We began spending time together
This free spirit and I
My husband was hopeful
I had finally found a friend
And “partner in crime”
Both artists
Of different mediums
She tore off the bandages of my soul
Led me to online photography classes with
Vivienne McMaster
I began unfurling
Amanda Page
Was introduced to me
My words took flight
My story unfolded
Leading me to
Jen Lee and Phyllis Mathis
I grew
My sails were full
And I blushed
All these
Strong women
So bold
secure
Grounded…
Women
I want to be with
Hang with
Learn from

Envy

Envy is the art of counting
another’s blessings
instead of your own.
-Harold Coffin

but i was fearful
to let any one inside
my head,
soul
and heart…

I denied it
every chance I got
i liked hiding
running
being silent…
Until
all these amazing women
were placed in my life
and helped
me to grow…
because of HER
Free spirit
Life giver
Artistic soul friend…
To all of HER shinning spirits
Thank you…
you truly helped
me begin leaving
my barnacled shell
and swim
freely…