gratitude at nautilus teachings

Rodanthe Pier
Rodanthe Pier

the wind is howling
clouds rushing above
make the suns ray
flicker like a camera lens…
birds scamper
back and forth
as the crashing waves
flood the shore
with such strength
each breath i take is pulled
in and out with the ebb and flow
of the mighty ocean.
scattered as far as my
big brown tearing eyes can see
are pieces of shell…
tiny low lying puddles
dot the beach from high tide
and little birds
flip their wings briskly
in the warming sand
leftover tidal ponds…
my mind drifts
to the raw beauty
engraving each days memory
upon the beach
i glance down
and there stands
my nautilus…

the biggest i have ever found
a piece of it is missing
-of course-
but in the center is the eye-
God’s eye…
today my son marries.
today the deep blue waters
place at my sparkling turquoise toes
a gift…
i pick it up
feel the weight
turn my face towards the sun
close my eyes
and allow memories
to engulf me
each one a piece of my
hearts song,
my life story
a path i have been
and floating
through for 53 years…
i see my mother’s
beautiful brown eyes
remember her hands
her love
and know she is here
within me,
even watching-
as her grandson,
the one she held,
and loved
a man
a husband
and one day
a dad…
my son’s life flashes
in polaroid glimpses
and i begin to weep…
slow, warm
melodic tears
gently kiss my cheeks
roll onto my smiling lips
and end up upon my tongue…

i giggle
let the crisp wind
dry my salted tears
and continue
slowly walking
feeling my feet
sink into the warm softness
running like a child
as each wave
beckons me to play
and pausing
to shell seek
waiting patiently
for the right
piece to catch my eye…
i love my life.
i look forward
to the second half
of my journey.
and today
i am filled
with gratitude
and thanks
for this
mid-western girls

nick n me 1988
nick n me 1988