imodium, ex lax and unisom at nautilus teachings

she had them all lined up
on the kitchen counter
the time was 6pm
dinner was on the stove
the kids had been
out of control all day,
the dogs barking at every
possible sound, motion or smell
this was supposed to be her sunday night…
she glanced at the bottles and
began reading their names out loud,
imodium, ex lax and unisom
on the counter opposite
lay a bb gun, rope, duct tape, nerf gun
she walked to the bathroom
placed small candles, a lighter,
a bottle of wine with a glass
ear plugs, and lavender epson salt…
she check her email
making sure all was clear
peaked in on the kids
who’s bedroom looked like
a bomb hit it and spoke
“everyone outside now, please…”
the three munchkins looked at her
and went back to pulling and screaming
at one another…
“now” she said, pointing at the door…
the dogs were already waiting
when they lined up
waiting for her to open the slider…
but first she grabbed the dogs collars
and placed them in their cages
with a fresh bone
kissed them on the nose
closed their doors tight….
dogs were easy.
they loved you,
were happy to see you
listened to you
obeyed for the most part
and loved to sleep…
she returned to the family room
to find all three missing
she heard them giggle,
“ah,” she thought, “so it’s hide from mommy time…”
she smiled and sighed,
“oh, i guess i will have to go outside
all by myself… i will be so sad to be alone…”
more giggles, only louder
came from the hall closet.
she slid open the door
and hid from them behind
the chase which was poolside.

soon they all scrambling out the door,
“mommy. mommy. where’s mommy?”
she thought to herself
they were the cutest things on the planet
their tiny fingers and toes,
gorgeous smiles
long curly locks
huge green eyes like their father…
her mind flashed back to the kitchen
and her stockpile on both counters of
imodium, ex lax, unisom,
a bb gun, rope, duct tape, nerf gun
and burst into laughter…
she jumped up and surprised her
three young children,
“you”, she smiled,
“have been ordered to walk the plank”
then she pointed at the pool.
“last one in the spa is a rotten egg,
now strip off your filthy clothes
and get it!”
plop, plop, plop…
soon they were gurgling water,
splashing each other
and of course screaming,
“i farted!”
he appeared from around the
side of the house,
sweaty, buff, handsome as can be
with that killer smile!
he quickly took on the character
of a british ‘bobbie’ changing up his voice
swinging his towel at his side
and his crazy walk
led to overwhelming cheers
from the spa and the, 
“oh daddy! you are so silly…”
he looked up at her
as he sat upon the edge of the water,
“well, “ he said in a british accent,
“time to dip the fishes?”
she smiled, nodded
and walked inside
removed the imodium the ex lax
placing them in the cabinet thinking to herself,
“he’s really an awesome dad!”…
when she returned he was in
the spa with them
happily washing their hair
and tiny bodies
singing them silly songs
while all three
hung on his neck, back and arms
while saying,
“cannonball daddy, cannon ball!”
one by one he picked them up
and plopped them in the pool to rinse
as they swam under the water
twirled and rubbed off any
soap left on their suntanned bodies
or in their long locks…

soon they were on the steps
exiting the pool as
one by one
she dried them,
kissed their noses
and said,
“clean jammies, brush your hair
and meet me on the sofa!”
she followed them inside
grabbed the unison, placing it too
inside the cabinet next
to the sink thinking,
“tonight he is mine!”
while they were getting
ready for bed, she pulled the pizza
from the oven,
divided a root beer
amongst three glasses
carried them to the family room
and popped in one of their
favorite movies.
they returned quickly
with blankets and pillows
knowing what was ahead…
the movie kept them glued
while she cut up the pizza
put it on plates
and glanced out the window
at him.
he was asleep
amongst the bubbles left over
from the kids bath
in the hot tub.
she smiled
fed the kids
sat for a brief moment
smiling with her three munchkins…
she heard the door open
walked to the kitchen and caught him
smiling and staring at the
bb gun, rope, duct tape, nerf gun…
“and these are for?”
he asked her…
she kissed him gently on the lips,
“well, the bb gun was to shoot towards you
getting you out of your gardening coma
you tend to get in on Sunday afternoon
when the kids are driving me nuts…
i thought of using the rope
to tie you up and the duct tape
to put over your mouth
while i seduced you…
but since we have an audience
all the flipping time,
i decided on the nerf gun…”
she quickly grabbed it
and began shooting and laughing
as she tried to pelt him with the
spongy darts…
he quickly grabbed it,
as they both laughed,
and kissed one another….
soon the kids were hugging their legs
screaming ,
“do me, daddy, do me…”
this was her life-
the life she created
and the life she loved….