jumping from he to HIM part 2 at nautilus teachings

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trying to build a life
as a single mom
was tough for her
she did have a college degree
but she had no support
no family
or friends to lean upon
because the people she did know
turned their backs on her
did not believe her
when she told them
of what she endured
their only response was,
“i don’t believe that.
you always looked so happy
so perfect
so in love…”
he turned everyone against her
tried to prove she was
an unfit mother
tried even
to steal her son away…
at one point
he had actually almost convinced her
giving her son up
was for the best
because she was penniless
worthless
and had nothing to give…
when she was thinking
about signing the papers
another HE appeared-
spoke to her softly
dried her tears
held her hand
listened and believed
in her stories she shared…

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HE seemed broken
just like her.
they fell into each other
despite everyone
warning her to stay away
from the beach bum bartender
she decided this time
she would marry
someone she chose…
HE seemed to love her tiny son
they all were a family,
going to church
starting a life
adding another baby
all the while the first he
made promise
after promise to
their son,
“i will take you on a train ride,
i will take you on the big red boat,
i will…i will… i will…”
every other weekend
she would pack his overnight bag
with all his favorite clothes
and it would come back unopened
“he doesn’t need this crap.
i will dress him in proper attire.”
then for two weeks they would
fall into being as normal
a family as possible
only now HE
began to resent the first he
and HIS words
echoed the first he
and her tiny son and daughter
watched and listened
as he yelled,
“you are a whore.
you are no good.
you are worthless.
i am going to take your kids
and you will never see them again…”
HE would threaten to leave
and she found herself
once more begging HIM
to stay,
“please, please…”
she would cry on bended knee
holding on for dear life
to HIS leg…
please, don’t leave us,
we love you…”
night after night.

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HE stayed out frequently
not returning for dinner
yet always seemed kind
to family and neighbors
and HE had moments
when HE was just like
the man she met
years ago on the shoreline…
soon another daughter
was added to their family
and she thought,
“well, this is not so bad…
i can keep them away from HIM
when HE is home and in bad moods…”
she decided
they
were ok…
her little boy was now
a teenager
and her girls
were growing fast…
she thought about the promise
she made to her son
when he was tiny
that she would always protect him
from harm
and then for the first time
she thought about herself
about what she was teaching
her children about love
and decided she must leave.
she started squirreling away money
to pay a lawyer
and on that day
the day she had counted up
$3,200 and knew
she could now begin
HE called her
and said,
“hey baby, we just won the lottery…”

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