just be who you are at nautilus teachings

i must reveal myself
i must reveal myself

Dream expression
Blank canvas
Caps off tubes of paint
Clean brushes
Fresh water
As I sit here
The possibilities are infinite
No one to stop me
Slam me
Tell me I am misguided
A disappointment
uncultured
I can paint with my fingers
In long swooping movements
Knowing inside
Their is an artist
A woman
Wanting to place upon canvas
The wild abandon
The whimsical journeys
I imagine at night
Playing
When I walk in to my studio
I smile
I am filled with possibilities
Twice a month I host BYOB paint parties
On these nights I get to play like a child
With all the ladies who walk through my door
I get to guide them
In discovering their own colors
Their own stroke of expression
There is no right or wrong
Just “love that brush stroke”
“This is beautiful”
Affirmation extracts beauty
And to me
They are all stunning women
Who sustain my artistic essence
Empowering me with flexibility to dally….

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Bleeding truths
At first it was hand to paper
Then pecking at the typewriter
Now it is soft touches to the computer
Whether art journaling,
Written expressions
Stories
Prose
Poetry
Real
Imagined
I love “bleeding” my heart
It’s such a genuine absolution…
Not writing
Means ceasing to thrive
Famous writer or not
What matters the most here
Is I am straightforward
Genuine
As I disengage from
That which has held me
Prisoner for so long

Understanding trust
Girls girls girls
There is nothing like a true girlfriend
Yet I find them hard to find
And even harder to keep
I envy women who have this, I hear them saying about their besty,
“She knows
She listens
She understands
She cares
She will call you just to hear your voice
Make you see how stupid you are acting at times
Laugh at you when you fall
Hold your hand when you just NEED
She knows your secrets”
Bring on Sex in the City!
I have had this for short increments
In my life
Still knowing
If I were to see any of them again
We would immediately fall into uniformity
Within her
You place
Your trust-
Her words
Her guidance
Her friendship
Is sacred

amen!
amen!

Silly belly giggling love
From conception
To birth
To separation as an adult
I love my children to the core
When they are sick
Being naughty
Making me proud
Or just hugging me
I yearn for this true and honest love
Only shared between mother and child
To be able to live my entire life
Knowing I have no boundaries with them
I can be honest and true
Fills me with such admiration
Their is no more authentic bond than this
I carry with me in my second half of life
All the pizza nights, movie adventures, vacations and celebrations
We shared together
With them
I am just
“Mom”
“oh Mom”
“really Mom”
“I love you Mom”
Me, myself and i
I hold no covered mysteries
I know my lapses
My mosaic weaknesses
My desire
My tenderness
I know what nurtures me
I know what scars
I know how sacred silence is
How imprisoning noise is
The intimate need to be isolated
This unquenchable yearning
To step in the impression
Of artisans before me

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No control
No insistence to conform to domination
I have grasped the value
To center myself-
To create within a sphere,
A central continuance
To illuminate my soul…
Sit soundlessly in shadows
Welcoming the converging of thought,
Thirst,
And anticipating
Living split-
unbarred
Splattering my being with
Highlights of speculative
Overwhelming reassurance
Revealing
That which is hidden
Will only make this journey,
The expanse around me,
The people beside me,
More
Receptive to
Dreaming
On the outside