LGBT-for bridget at nautilus teachings

 

 

i knew her then
i know her now
this is her story
she is my friend
forever

SHE WAS BORN

Brunette
Tiny
To a house
Of catholic men
A house
Where women
Did what they
Were told

SHE ESCAPED.

As a child
Running wild
And nude
Giggling
Teasing
Happy
To a world
Of wonder
And grace

A STORM HIT.

And she
Was shattered
Splattered
Innocence was lost
By him
And him
And never punished
By HIM
And the woman
Cried
For her small
Beautiful
Girl
As she rocked her
Gently to sleep

KAREN.

Was auburn haired
Freckled
Filled with sunlight
Smiles
And love
SHE was the girls heart
and best friend….
Hand in hand
Soul to soul
Kiss to kiss

INNOCENCE.

Was found
Once more
In the arms of the
6 year olds
Skin to skin
Lips to lips
Fingers entwined
Bodies as one
The two beauties
Flew wild and free
In their play
In their sleep
And in their love

GROWING.

The girls hair
turned soft mocha
Her lips filled out
And by 10
The boys wanted her
But all she wanted
Was
KAREN

she
Tried to like boys
Tried to touch
Tried to kiss
Over and over
But her eyes
Saw KAREN
Her heart
Beat out the name
KAREN
Her words whispered
KAREN
As she took her first
boy kiss
Held a boy hand
Looked into
Boy eyes
she cried
In the corner

MOVE.

How can they move
Her away from
KAREN
She was suffocating
Choking
Tears running
From eyes to cheek
Landing upon her
Sun tanned legs
As she
Turned to look out the
Back window of the car
Of her road
Of her house
Of her life
Of her first
Lost love…

this was the 60’s
a time of free love
a time
when being gay
was something
you were ashamed of
so this little girl
followed
the rules…
she was my best friend
i knew all her secrets
i held them all inside
because the world
hated her
for liking girls…

SARAH.

Long
Lean
Fair
Green eyes
13
First cigarette
First drink
Small boobs begin
Crush
Again
Lips
Kiss
Kiss with tongue
Lie nude
Play
Touch
Explore
Love

MOVE.

Not her but SARAH
Sad
Cling
Cry
Scream
Yell
Hate
Hurt
Break
Promise
Never
Never
Never

she turned 16
Boys
dating
trying to fit in
Yuk
Boys
Because
she was a girl
Boys
she wants
ANGIE
Funny
Brunette
Brown eyed
ANGIE
they
Called each other
boy nicknames
they
were one
In spirit
thought
dreams…
But
Boys?
they must conform
let boys
touch
In closets
Car seats
Dark rooms
boys
hurt her
boys take
boys demand.
sadness

COLLEGE.

Sex with a boy
Dreamy
Incredible
Soft
Love
DANIEL
Catholic
Strong
athletic
Love
maybe she was wrong…
Marriage?
No
she can’t

LAURIE.

Tall
Blonde
Irish
Smile
Sweet
Lips
Scent
she wants LAURIE
She is shy
Kind
Innocent
she turns
Away
Ashamed
lost…

MARK.

Marriage
wrong
affair
wrong
Empty
Lost
Searching
Child
Mom
Lost
Following
society
Rules

DEATH.

Of parents
Of life
Of rules
Of ties
Of her
Wandering
Searching
Looking
Leaving

DIVORCE.

Freedom
But
With
Attachment
Now
A child
Beautiful
Blonde
Thumb
Sucking
In need of
Dad

STEVE.

Crazy
Adorable
Exciting
Rebel
Rule breaker
Freckled
LIKE KAREN
Fair
LIKE SARAH
Brunette
LIKE ANGIE
Connection
Heart
Soul
Marriage
Rules
Society
Follow
Conform
Be
Do
Stay
Take
Pain
Take
Ugly
Words
Take
Abuse
Stay
Sad
Broken
Puzzles pieces
On the floor

PAM

Salt and pepper
Hair
Glasses
Soft tongue
Lips sweet
Eyes dark
Skin mocha
Rebirth
Society
Changing
Accepting
Stuck
Stuck
Stuck
Threats
Stay
Heart
Filled with holes
Head
Filled with questions
PAM
she does not tell her
Just flirts
She flirts back
she knows
She
Gets impatient
Leaves

CORNERED.

she stays
In the
Corner
Bumping
Grinding
Playing
With toys
her
SELF
Girl
Now
WOMAN
Alone
Playing
Alone
Longing
For
HER
Touch
HER SCENT
HER LOVE

DIVORCE.

Freedom
Once again
Alone
Sad
Abandoned
Directionless
Kids
Conform
Be
Do
Perfect
Yet long
For HER
No name
No face
Just
HER
Self
Satisfaction
Leaves
Her empty
Riddled
With guilt
Walking
Paths to
Nowhere

HIM

Rescued
By
Vagina man
Works
Feminine
Smart
Strong
Love
Love
Better
Healing
Normal
Fit
Molded

SCARED.
she turns
into
Her world once more
uses her imagination
remembers childhood
she cannot return
Thinks of
KAREN
SARAH
ANGIE
PAM
Gasping
For air
For life
For right
Why so wrong
Needing to follow
A path
She cannot
So she stays
Locked
Cornered
Bandaged
Unsure
Unknowing
Of true love
Heart connection
Of threaded souls
Perfection
Keeper of promises
Untrue to self
Afraid
slices wrists
depression
sadness
pain…

life passes her by
she
was
abnormal
until
the world
said
yes…
LGBT!
she
rebelled
left
kids
grown
husband
gone
she
began
living
no more lies…
Arrival
Spirit
Joy
Sweet
Soft
Touch
Love
Want
Cracking her lid
To let her soul in
Air
Breathe
Tremors
Scared
Unsure
Unknowing
Wanting
Needing
Scents

Soul
Open
Words
Free
Spirit
Yes
Connection
Understanding
Passion
Small
Beautiful

HER
Feeling 6
Again
World changed
Touch
Hair
Hand
Arm
Hug
Kiss
Brush
surrender
To dreams
To thoughts
To words

SHE
denied
dreaming
and then
dared
to be a daisy
in the hands
of life
peeling away
the petals
and revealing
what she always knew
she
loved
girls…

for B…