loose fitting clothes at nautilus teachings

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the girl with the
loose fitting clothes
the one who never
likes to strike a pose
stands before her
filled up closet
she pulls down
a sweatshirt
throws it on
and notices the
sleeves are too short
and the fit is too snug…
has she gained weight?
yes.
she has added the burden
of stress and worry to her
life once more
and now nothing will fit
because it won’t drape enough
the arms won’t fall passed her fingers
the pants will bind her waist
each day she will fitfully dress
pulling each piece over her
swelling, aching, exhausted being.
she really hasn’t gained an ounce
but her head and heart
are so full of ache
she feels blown up
swollen
and lacks energy…
the girl with the
loose fitting clothes
walks down the hallway
people stop her and say
“hey, you look different today…”
to which she smiles
drops her head
and saunters on…
her phone rings
she glances at it
ignores it
and waits for a message to beep
“hey, i need you to…..”
she adds another line
to her tattered, endless list.

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each day the girl with
the loose fitting clothes
walks with her head buzzing
her body shaking
and her heart double beating
her ears ring, ring, ringing
and every joint in her aches
she does not want to be
a servant
nor to spend her day
back in her closet
full of anxiety
painted walls
of peeling stress drips
with chains binding
her wrists,
she cannot breathe…
the girl with the
loose fitting clothes
rises with the sun
feeling its healing power
she runs on the streets
she still herself in yoga
then she prays to God
to take it all away
to relieve her from her
tethered self…
she walks to the closet
draws down a soft sweatshirt
and notices it hangs loosely
upon her frame
she smiles
reaches for her shorts
ties the drawstring
and feels the ease of space…
ah,
the girl with the
loose fitting clothes
she already knows
she cannot do it alone
and from her faith
she will never  roam
for when she is unsettled
when she forgets to pray
everything in life
takes her air bubbles away…
she strolls down the hallway
a nice lady says,
“hey, today you look so pretty…”
as she smiles
and tilts her head upward
thanking God
for her life
and her loose fitting clothes.

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