miss me? at nautilus teachings

“don’t you want a chance to miss me?”
have you ever heard this?
maybe from a guy
who you are head over heels
in love with
and you say something like,
“i don’t want you to go…”
or what about when
you are up to your eyeballs
in baby, kid, school, pta, soccer demands
and you see the opportunity to
even if it’s to the grocery store?
as soon as little hands see you
grab your purse,
“mom, where are you going?
I want to go.
take me with you.”
you could absolutely say,
“how is mommy ever going to miss you?”
what about when you’ve had a long
stressful day at work
you come home
the house is a mess,
husband had a bad day too
you have nothing prepped for dinner
and all you want to hear are those
four precious, sweet words,
“calgon, take me away!”
do we go from the cradle to the grave
craving aloneness?
does our body really need solitude?
sure, we mostly get to withdraw
while we sleep every night,
but there is always a spouse,
child or animal who
could disturb our much cherished Zzzzzzzz’s!
we may think we are alone
in the car
but our phones are buzzing
the radio blaring
people are honking
and you find yourself
knotted up with stress.
maybe a walk on the beach?
you start out alone,
walking slowly
listening to the ocean
things are going swell
when you hear parents
screaming at their kids
a lively sand volleyball game
is a few feet ahead
beach patrol drives by
and you run in to a friend
you have not seen in a long time
so you stop and chat…

the body does need to withdraw,
to detach from all
the tiny life darts
ping ponging off us
all the time,
even going to the restroom
can be a challenge
if you have kids or dogs!
so let’s face it
you need
you are an introvert
like me.
d always says
blondie, you need some people time!
so once in a while
i venture out with him to an event
but for the most part
teaching is plenty for me.
i thrive when i am alone
i never get bored
never take naps
or seek out bad habits
i love writing
playing with my dogs
and at 5:00pm i have
my netflix binge time
with my candles lit
AC cranked down
mini blinds closed…
it is simple bliss.
i begin most days with meditation
then add the gym mid day
followed by yoga
and another 12 min meditation…
i know, i know, i know,
i am spoiled rotten
and blessed.
but i learned long ago
materialistic things don’t matter
to me.
i grew up poor,
married well,
married ok, but won the lottery
so we were millionaires
for a short time-
long story-
married for love
found joy and happiness
in simplicity…

only once did d ever say,
“don’t you want a chance to miss me?”
that was at the very beginning of our relationship.
he was traveling to puerto rico
for surfing,
we were very new,
like 3 weeks in
so i made him a card
for each day he’d be gone-
but i was crushing on him bad.
he got mad at me
said it was “too much,”
“don’t you want a chance to miss me?”
was his response.
years later i found his diary
from that trip
“just learn to relax and enjoy a woman
who loves giving and is NOT a ball breaker.
build a life with sher, do not back off!”
sometimes we don’t
make time for ourselves
because we are afraid
we will be exactly that
d knew then
and knows now
how much i love him-
we fit perfectly,
as i’m sure you do
with your spouse or
loved one
but in order for us
to give 100% in listening
loving, doing, living
we need time for
our self.
i for one believe
in self love
and self care.
i also know,
you have to make the time,
put it on your schedule-
even if all you need is
10 min of peace,
do it!
then the next time you hear or say,
“don’t you want a chance to miss me?”
it will make you smile
knowing the answer is
a powerful