never retire your super mama cape at nautilus teachings

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she woke up
with her inner strength
rumbling inside
it felt like fizzy bubbles
expanding and floating
upward from a
carbonated beverage.
she hit the gym hard
cooled down with
slow stretching
and completed her workout
with 20 min of meditation
and yoga.
the coffee brewing
smelled delicious,
she frothed the milk
to make her latte
grabbed a power bar
and headed to her
prayer room.
candle lit
prayers said,
scripture read
a new day
with endless
creative possibilites
lay before her,
and it was only 9am…
a familiar vibration
from her cell
made her pause
for a moment
the screen
shows her friends
silly expression
“hey you! what’s up?
you heading beachside?”
“no, i wish…stuck here today…”
we catch each other up
on our personal haps
and then she gracefully
drops the bomb…
“how are you doing with the news………..”
she begins to fill me in
on the latest i should know
but have not been told
about one of my own…
she finishes with,
“hey, i love you. i’m here for you.
let’s meet at coconuts this week…”

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i love her.
she is honest
kind
successful
and my friend
for the past 16 years.
i look at my super mama cape
hanging by the thin threads
left from 30 years
of parenting
breathe in,
still my center
knowing
God has me
in the palm of his hand.
i busy myself
with the days
‘to do’ list
well aware
that my mind keeps drifting
to this grown soul
i once carried…
occasionally i go over
and run my fingers over the
soft, worn super mama cape
letting the memories
glide me down
the warm turquoise
waters of my life…
the day passes quickly,
i shower,
step into my soft jammies
and walk out to get the mail…
once back inside
i begin to sort it all.
the second piece
is not mine
it belongs to her…
i take a pic and text her
the photo with a ? after it…
some time later i hear back
“please forward it to me,
i will make an address
change this summer…”
so, it’s true
and she is not sharing
the news…
so i text back
“everything good?”
silence
deafening
heartbreaking
silence…

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i crawl inside my box
with teddy
and cry…
i know i must remain silent
and i hate it
why can’t i tell her how i feel?
why can’t i ask her if
what i heard was true ?
because i know in my gut it is…
one more tug on my cape
before i settle onto the sofa
candles lit
and begin meditation.
the day is done
i cannot change her
talk to her
or help her
all i can do
is listen
love
and accept
this one true fact…
it is her life,
not mine
and she is entitled to make
her own mistakes
even if they reflect
the worst mistakes
i ever made…
she came from me
she witnessed my life
why would i think
she would be different
when the plain truth is
she loves me,
she is me
and this gives me hope
that she too
will one day
leave the brokenness behind
and begin her own
healing journey
rooted in her faith…
until that time
this mom
will continue to wear
her super mama cape
and will be there 100%…

th