oh those aching days at nautilus teachings

 

 

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there are mornings
when i roll into
my day
as easily as
the soft tide
kisses the shore.
then there
are the awakenings
i am encompassed
with pain
every joint aches
my head is tingly
and my knees
want to sleep
instead of move…
these are the days
i run harder
i work longer
when i make the choice
to not give in…
but then i get in my car
and am wrapped in
those soft leather seats
my music croons
and i drive home.
i exit by turning to the side
placing one foot
upon pavement
at a time,
i walk slowly into the house
and then i fall
very quickly
into the furriness
of my boys
and let the pain
wash over me
i let it swirl around
my entire being
giving in,
i weep
until the boys
make me giggle from
their wet tongues.
then i sit up
smile
and think
i am better now…

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folding into myself
near days end
is a gift
i have learned
to embrace…
showering
lighting candles
and sitting in
the silence
of dusk
i feel the presence
of God…
i am soothed for a short spell
where nothing
aches
i don’t feel the swollen joints
and i breathe in
the healing power
of my faith…
with each year
i am blessed with,
i find new ways
to improvise
in completing daily tasks
my threshold for pain
has increased
and i find such
joy
in
being
alone…
we are all new
from birth
and as we grow
our life opens
expanding with many paths
to choose from
sometimes we
erase pages
others get torn out
and some
hold so much memory
they need a golden strand
to hold them together…

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midlife brings
enfolding
we drape
ourselves
in nostalgia
wish for those
“good old days”
when the phone rang
and we would sit for hours
laughing and sharing
with our family and friends…
today,
it’s a quick text
or you are messaged
many days my phone does not cease
ding, ding, dinging…
i am learning how
to age with grace
and for the most part
it’s simple…
stay active
eat right
sleep well
pray
meditate
love myself
i no longer have to prove
anything to anyone
i have a voice
and i use it
i am the most
open i have ever been
and there is not a day
i do not create…

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my pinky begins to ache
then the wrist
the head
the knees follow
soon
my body
is heated
with rising soreness
i breathe in
and out attempting
to halt the onslaught
i close my eyes
settle my thoughts
as my faith
washes away
the need to hold on
any longer…
giving everything to God
sustains my buoyancy
increases the surge
of His healing
in my life
and fills me with gratitude
each day i am given
to plop, plop, plop my
aching feet upon the pavement
and say good morning
to this beautiful life.

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