our tiny lives at nautilus teachings

 

 

 

 

i sit

in the ac

in a clean house

knowing

my neighbors 

across the canal

still

have

no

power…

i think about the battle zone

the inside of my home looked like

just this morning

with 5 extension cords

multiple fans

a cordless ac unit

generator and 35 gallons of gas

outside

not to mention

50 gallons of water…

the mess of branches

strewn everywhere

that we raked up

cut down

and silently pulled

from the gutters of our

tiny beach home-

a place we love,

have made into 

a home

our mini resort

shielding us

from the chaos of every day life…

while going through this

almost 3 week long battle

of news hype

preparation

and then

Irma’s attack

we had the conversation

like so many people

of how hard this is

on our aging bodies

should we stay here

do we need to buy

any more big supplies

in case another one hits…

how do you prepare

to possibly lose it all?

we went 11 years

without a hurricane here-

i take a deep breath in

and think about this,

but it does not calm me.

the debris this year 

is unlike that of matthew’s

everything here now 

is ugly brown

and looks like death…

the branches we hauled

last  year were green

and when stacked

appeared as if  we had just

done a yearly trim…

but this year

bleak sadness

covers our

tiny beach town

with muted shades

of gray and brown…

i look like a battlefield

bloody scabs on my 

shins, knuckles and arms

bruises everywhere 

reminding me

we just went through

2 long weeks of 

stress

preparations

and hell

and now almost another 

week of cleaning up

trying to get our lives

back to some sort of  normal…

Irma was supposed 

to be “a tropical storm

over us” while we slept

were the last words 

we heard

before

POP,

the

power went off

and the two of us,

flashlight in hand

strolled out

and started 

the generator

knowing

that was the beginning

and we needed to

be ready…

every lull in the storm 

as a big powerful band passed

leaving our pool deck under water

we would run out

broom in hand

and sweep the water away

praying it would 

never be deep enough

to enter

our

home…

we then walked out front

and our entire road

was under water

almost up to my knee

and half way up our

driveway

the current was flowing

so fast

it looked like a rolling ocean…

i began to break

and freak out

as doc gently assured me

it will be ok…

the smile of our grandson

flashes across my mind

and i smile…

i think about my friends,

neighbors

local businesses 

and 

i

pray

for them…

hoping we are saved.

 

Irma taught us 

so many things…

one,

we

are old!!!

two,

we 

have

too much stuff!

three,

want

peace

calm

and to live

in the knowing

i will never 

have to do this again!

but this is the one price we pay

for living in paradise

so if i accept this fact

and stay in my tiny beach town

in our little turquoise

turtle filled home

i must make a list of what

would make me feel safe

and secure

should this happen again…

i have two 55lb dogs

who go crazy 

if needed to be moved

so like most pet parents

i don’t want to go anywhere 

but i will not sacrifice my life

for any storm…

we have wonderful friends who

graciously open their home up

to all of us

and for this i am eternally grateful…

my husband has an established practice here

which he cannot just leave

nor retire from

he loves what he does

and he cares to much about his patients

to just leave them hanging…

so we need to have a plan

he and i

does he stay

do i go

taking my dogs

what shall we do?

for right now 

we

breathe

try not to have too much 

time together

because after all,

this is not a vacation

and is very stressful for

everyone…

we continue to have faith

to pray

and accept 

our truth

this is home…

it’s now 2am

the ac is blaring

but i can still hear the generators

from across the canal

i look around the mosaic 

bathroom i completed last year

for my surfer dude hubby 

and pause

in gratitude

for my life…

as i wander back to bed

i stoop to pet the dogs

give them each a kiss

and then i fold myself 

back into the soft

clean sheets

pulling my hubby close.

he is my rock.

even when we disagree

he

is

mine…

together we can weather

any storm

as long as we remember

if we lose everything

we can start over

but not

if we do not have

each other…

so,

goodbye Irma

hello cocoa beach

and the tiny little 

beautiful life

we love…

cocoa beach 1973