realist/idealist~you pick at nautilus teachings

are you a realist?
a person who accepts a situation as it is and is prepared to deal with it accordingly:
an artist or writer whose style is characterized by the representation of people or things as they actually are:
or are you an idealist?
a person who is guided more by ideals than by practical considerations:
utopian, visionary, wishful thinker, pipe-dreamer, fantasist
sher was a mix of both
although her words written
in her diary were truth
her mouth just would not follow suit
come the end of her freshman year
after enjoying being peters girl
she told him
she just could not marry him
she was too young
and had no idea what she wanted in life…
which in some ways was truth
but her heart knew
the summer arrived
called her up
inviting her to his folks
lake house
and to travel in a motor home
with he and his friends
to a waterski show.
it sounded fun
so she said yes.
her heart still belonged to peter
but this guy was cute and nice
so sher decided
heart breaking or not
she would push on…
was she brave?
not in the slightest.
she was afraid of being alone
and wanted desperately to
be out from under her fathers thumb.
if she were strong
and driven like her mom
was in everything accept
her marriage
sher would have stood up
to her dad
moved to God’s country
and spent a summer trying on
peter and his family-
she will never know.
this will eat at her
for the rest of her life.
has this every happened to you?

living with regret is never recommended
it can ultimately tear you apart inside
in sher’s case
she took her love for peter
sewed it to her soul
and went on with life…
summer was fun! her and
had a fun time.
he was going to be a senior
at his chosen university
and sher would go back
to Carthage
which was in the same city
peter was playing semi pro football.
would she see him?
they had chatted over the summer
long, dreamy conversations
about life, many times
and he still held the key
to her heart.
Sophomore year started out
with her pledging to a sorority
which led her to crazy antics
like stealing pumpkins
with her fellow pledges
from a local farm,
only to be caught
by a very kind police officer
who completely got pledging
so he posed for a pic with them
then took the pumpkins back
and let them off the hook…
of course they dressed in hoodies
with bandanas tied around their faces
dark jeans and boots…
college life was just fun!
sher dated a few more guys.
they were funny and kind
but no one filled peters slot.
one day
“hey schultzy! I have missed you.”
OMG! sher thought she would faint.
she wrapped him up in a huge hug
dragged him in her dorm room
and showed him just how much she missed him!
for the rest of the season
they saw each other whenever he was free.
the holidays loomed
and he was once more off to California
until the end of January.
Sher had chosen to stay home this break
so when he called asking her to pick
him up from the airport
then take him to
the bus station
she gladly and very quickly
said , YES!

the day was snowy and cold.
she would be going back to school
in two days for the spring semester
seeing peter was a nice treat.
they spent the day laughing
loving and hanging out
until it was time for him to catch his bus
back to God’s country.
His plan was to look for a teaching job
find a wife and settle down.
hers was to accept this
grow the fuck up
and move on.
that one day
for those short few hours
were the one of the best times
she had ever shared with him
for once she had taken off
all her masks
and bared the soul of who she really was
to the man she loved.
he agreed,
and told her so in a letter.
she kept writing to BHBEG#1
sometimes they talked on the phone
she talked to peter often
wrote him letters also
and once in a while dated
a few guys just for fun.
Sher decided she needed to leave school
and try on a new one
so the plan was junior year
at the university of tucson, az
said he wanted to go with her
and look for a job
so the two of them set off
in his car,
pulling her tiny car
packed with all her stuff
all the while sher could not
stop thinking about peter,
maybe BHBEG#1is
the one for her?
the night before they were
to pull into AZ
at a small cute hotel
in new mexico
after a long days drive
a great meal and a swim in the pool
sher and BHBEG#1
opened a bottle of champaign
to toast their adventure
only BHBEG#1
“listen, sher, I have been thinking,
i cannot leave my parents
and my home town and move
all the way here.
so i will drop you off and then i am heading home…”
was this what life
was going to throw at her now?
maybe, she thought, life was to be lived alone…