she dared to do it at nautilus teachings

she wanted it
she wanted it

She wanted it
This she knew
From the core of her being
The word
Yes, yes, yes
Echoed
Do it
Take it
Be it…

“but what if you fall
What if you hate it
What if it scares you
What if the rope snaps
Or you break your back
What if you DIE?…”

“lol,
Really
You are such a baby
I’ll do it
I’m not afraid
Looks like fun
What’s the worst that could happen
I tried it, it was easy…”
“I’m glad I’m not a girl
What a pain in the ass
All this thinking
Who has to think
It looks awesome
What an adventure
You only live once
Who cares if I die
At least I’d die trying
Give me beer
(he slugs it down
And JUMPS)

go for it
go for it

“what do I care,
Nobody would miss me
I live life on the edge
I do what I want
When I want
I’m doin’ it
‘Cause I can…”

“Good Lord
Sweet Jesus
She’s gonna do it
I caint believe it
Can you
Wooohooohooohooo
That girl
Just gone
And done it
I declare
She is one tough hussy…”

“well,
Back in my day
Girls did not behave in that manner
We took orders
We followed directions
We stayed at home
Had the babies
And took care of our man…”

“mom,
What is the big deal
Just say it
What are you afraid of
Leave
Just do it
I hate him
I
Will tell him
Mom
Really
You are being a baby…”

“Sher,
There is nothing about this
In the Bible
You must do what your heart
Tells you to do
You must follow your feelings
God will guide you
When your time is up, it’s up
Live your life
And have faith that
God will protect you…”

“do not call me again
Until you have gotten rid of him
I don’t want to hear
Your whining
I don’t want to hear
Your complaints
You know what to do
I cannot take it any more
I am your best friend
But until you kick him out
My phone is on mute…”

time to release it all
time to release it all

“Cut
Print
That’s a
Wrap!
Hey did we get
The part
Where
She
Said
“Fuck you”
To everyone
Jumped in the ocean
And landed
Ass up on the beach
Naked?”

I
Was soulfully naked
Stripped of colors
Mute of words
I tried to drown myself
Several times with shame
I tried to be a good girl
Good wife
Perfect daughter
Great sister
Best friend
I tried
And
Tried
And
Then
I broke the lock upon
Perfectionism
And began my experiment
I left the sofa pillows messed up one night
And smiled
Left a few dirty dishes in the sink til morning
Then put them in dishwasher unrinsed
Did not make the bed
Just rolled out and began my day
Did not take a shower for two days
And did not smell too bad
Went out of the house without makeup
And felt naked
Stopped going to church
And found my faith grew deeper
Stopped listening to the voices which I grew up with
Because they were poison
And
I walked into the ocean
Let myself float free
And washed in
Upon a crashing wave
naked
Just me
The sun, sand, water
How peaceful
I looked up toward the sky
And down the vast empty beach
And said,
“Don’t look at me in that tone of voice world!”
Giggled
And realized
I had
Become
A
Ya Ya Sister
And true to the ending
Of this movie
When Sidda says to her daddy,
“Daddy, did you get loved enough?”
I will reply
With a full heart
And a free
spirit
“What’s enough? My question is, did you?”

yes, He loves me
yes, He loves me

knowing
i
always
did the best i could
loved deep
fell hard
and
flew upon
the wings
of my faith