stand alone


we are called
to stand alone
face in the shadows
our back to the wind
we are cloaked in sadness
needing nourishment
and strength
there are times when
God whispers,
“I’m calling your loved one home…”
He speaks lightly
yet it feels like a sudden tear
like someone is ripping your heart
just shredding it
with no pieces to spare
my choice was not to do this
for years ago
i fell in love
had i known that
i would stand alone
would i still have
loved her so?

wings of love
wings of love

now the pieces of her lie scattered
amongst my dreary day to day
i am remembering her sunshine
even through this pouring rain…
why me?
why me, i ask myself
what makes me so different
from the rest?
why am i so much stronger, Lord
why not put me through this test?
he took my lovely
he took my heart
he took my soul
and so today
i stand alone
because my Lord has called her home…


there are tremors underneath my skin
I’m not sure that i can calm
the ebb and flow of life right now
is more like one big storm
all i want is one more chance
for my arms to keep her warm..
to snuggle with
her heartbeat echoing with mine
to just lay her head
upon my chest
yet you called her to
the great divine
now all i have is the memory
for the Lord whispered in her ears
“my child, it’s time to rest…”
as my eyes release the tears

morning break
morning break

i shall get up every morning
make my coffee
go to work
at lunch i’ll sit there weeping
in the quiet moment i have alone
for i know come end of day
my words must still
mother home…
for you see,
i know when i walk inside
younger eyes will be seeking mine
crying to me,
“father, oh my father why did mom have to die?”
but you know
i don’t have an answer
there is not one laying within my brain
because at that moment
all i can do is hug them
while we
live together
through this pain
there is no greater loss for me
than letting
their mother go.
as i close my eyes
each night
my dreams will turn to you
for i know i hold
within my heart
the strength to see us through
there never is an answer
its never going to be right
for i’ll never forget the day
my love
when i stood alone
while you lost your fight…

soft bravery
soft bravery