that “aha” moment at nautilus teachings

have you ever waited for
the light to pop on
in someones head
as you finally  hear them say,
“ahhh. ya know. i finally get it…”
sometimes it feels as if
they will never grow up
hear the truth
see what lies before them
and stay stuck in that
rut they keep
complaining and crying about
the one that
hurts them down to the core
but they are afraid to let go
they keep trying
never giving up
researching for something new
any way just to help
someone they love.
the day comes
they know.
they grow up.
they get it.
do you remember your moment of awakening?
when you stopped fighting the current
and allowed your self to just be buoyant
how it cradled you
rocked you to a deep healing sleep
only to gently place you upon the shore
feeling inspired, rested, ready
to begin your new footpath
that God placed before you
so long ago,
but it wasn’t until now
that you actually
heard HIS calling
turned the volume down
on your crazy, stressful
mixed up life
and said,
“Lord, lead me…”
we are born into the hands
and lives of those who are
supposed to protect and love us,
yet, sometimes one of our loved ones
does the exact opposite
or they put themselves
continually first
or even worse
they show affection to us
and then
we find out they just cannot stop lying
and hurting, not just themselves
but those who love them.

when do you cut the ties?
how many years do you endure
this psychological and emotional torture?
when does the mask finally fall off
allowing you to see clearly
it’s time to walk away?
we all have a different threshold
for pain endurance
and granted their are different
types of pain
emotional pain is a tough one
how can we love someone
and still allow them to hurt us?
what is our breaking point,
do we take verbal assault
yet draw the line at
or do we turn the other cheek
and wait until we are so
battered and broken
we look as if we just
stepped out of a boxing ring?
the worse damage is usually
on the inside where no-one can see it.
people stay for so many different reasons
this one particular young beauty
believed she could save him
he was finally clean and not lying
she wanted the heart connection
with him she had felt when she was a child…
she tried
she trusted
she even kept dismissing
all the obvious signs
trying to protect her heart
from breaking into a million tiny pieces…
the day came
when he finally turned on her
yelling at her
the way he did at her mom
so many years ago
and she knew
no matter what
one of the bravest
and most difficult steps
you will ever take is
when you finally let HIS
light shine down upon your life
illuminating before you
it’s time to grow up
and leave this all behind.
my mother always said,
‘sher we are all broken
in some way, because of that
we must be accepting,
forgiving and love unconditionally”…

when i answered the young beauties phone call
i could feel her silent pain
as she tried desperately
to speak words,
she began crumbling
pieces of her memory
with him which were whirling around
like a tsunami
she was drowning in
a living grief…
i reminded her of her strength
to breathe in deeply
and find a calm center…
she was listening to my every word
and i knew
she was ready to let the light in
all the cracked pieces
melting away the feeling
of responsibility for him
and allowing her to unfurl
her own dreams
choose her own path
say goodbye to the town
she had been in for 2 years
and finally grow up
do only what she wanted
expand her wings
and begin to find herself,
just herself
always walking in the knowing
God is protecting her
and just like on the day
she was born
her mom has her back…
it does not mean she
is running away from any one person
or even him…
it’s that the light popped on, securing in her the knowledge ,
She is clothed with strength and dignity,
and she laughs without fear of the future.
Proverbs 31:25