tiny life in cocoa beach at nautilus teachings


the cloudy skies hover
above us.
the trees are brown
and look like death.
my yard is missing a
tall silver palm
which posed a threat
to either the power lines
or my roof.
across the street
the huge tree
with it’s roots
which crawled across the grass
is gone too…
and for the first time
in 12 years
i step onto my front porch
and actually see
i close my eyes
and imagine
the beautiful sunsets
we now get to enjoy
all thanks to Irma…
rain keeps filling my pool
the canals are too full
the grass saturated,
and turning yellow
from to much moisture
yet it still grows
the water still flows
tiny fish are in the
which now exist
as the water
as creeped up my boat ramp
confirming in me
the knowledge
i am not in control…
we are all
images of texas
pop into my head
so i pause
and pray for them…
next is the keys
and ever person
who lost all their belongings
another for the islands
who’s devastation is nearly
last is for the whole world
that the weather may calm
and peace may reign…
da boys are sad
as they sit upon their beds
i kiss them
rub their bellies
and sit between
the two of them
knowing they have been
a huge part of keeping me sane
no matter how hard it is
to have animals and

i make a list for them,
food, treats and more meds,
in case…
i call my water delivery service
as i cannot find a place
to fill or replace my 5 gallon jugs
and they respond with,
“we can get you a delivery in october
but no sooner.
we have changed our delivery policy…”
i hang up on them
find a new company
and look forward to getting my
two new coolers
and 7 gallons of water
this thursday…
i am trying to keep
my exposure to
social media to minimum
as people are already posting
about the doom of maria…
social media has really gone crazy
since the election last year
i already do not watch the news
listen to the radio
or read any articles on aol or google…
this hurricane
almost had me leaving fb…
i think back to cocoa beach in 2004-
the year i purchased my home here
and had to wait
due to the inability to write
insurance on the house
until it was safe
due to –
Hurricane Charley
Hurricane Frances
Hurricane Ivan
Hurricane Jeanne…
my thoughts turn to my
Cape Royal building
once more
where d and i
own two double spaces-
home to his 50 + weekly patients,
my underwater sanctuary
filled with paint
giggles and tons of memories…
i love going up twice a day
greeting all workers
smiling with them
being a cheerleader
to everyone who needs it-
it’s what we do,
as humans
we pick each other up
even if we are down
works together to
achieve harmony
peace and togetherness…

our tiny beach town needs
a ton of clean up.
there are businesses
that are open that need
extra customers to help them
recoup what they lost,
there are neighbors who need
a helping hand
and there are family and friends
for us to cry, laugh, share
and heal with…
i take a deep breath
and gaze around my
little beach shack.
i am flooded with memories
as i drop to my knees in prayer
expressing gratitude and thanks
for my life
my home
it was by the grace of God
once more
our tiny island was saved
from destruction…
we are all alive
we all survived
the no electricity and no water
we climbed on roofs
cleaning gutters
cut down limbs
piled up debris
drove 30 miles to find
water food produce gas
but we lived…
for the most part
the churning of acid
in my stomach
has subsided
i am sleeping well
and i get up each day
thinking what can i do
to move past this
and forward
into my future?
how can i help
i have no answer
it’s time to throw some paint~
first clean my studio
moving everything
then lift the lids off the
cans of paint
and begin
the process of soul healing
how most artists do…
as i crank up my dixie chicks
dip my fingers in the cool wetness
pull my arm back
and splat splat splat
colors upon the wall
with every release of energy
will come ten times more tears
until at last
my tiny bali studios
comes back to life
as the trees begin to blossom
the flowers open up
the sky turns blue
the kids laugh
and people once more
begin making plans
getting back into routine
breathing calmly
and smiling…
then maybe
just maybe
the world
will begin
to let a car
pull in front of them
without cursing
to hold open a door
to take cookies to
an elderly neighbor
to have a needed conversation
or see a person they love
who has been absent
from their lives…
one person
at a time
they go
will be the hot topic
on social media
and the news…
as Ram Dass says,
“we are all just walking each other home…”