to love again-nautilusteachings

enter stillness
enter stillness

birth wakes us
from
protected stillness…
from the moment
the cord
is cut
we seek
reattachment
for the rest
of
our
lives…
and with each
connection
comes
a memory thread-
a weaving
across the soul
leaving us changed
forever…
we are branded with
taste, smell, remembrance and touch
from each encounter
in our life…
as children we cling to
our mother
we trust they will keep
us safe, warm, fed and loved…
we are born
with a memory tracker
for each person
that touches our lives.
this can be a lot like
morse cod
filled with lots of
“DAH DIT DITS”
with the dit dits
(or dots)
encompassing the imprints
left by a person
upon our soul…

forever
forever

by the time
we are in our late 20’s
we have so many threads
woven within us
that we are no longer
the person we were
when we were born…
we pick up mannerism’s
whether good or bad
of our friends, family,
loved ones and sometimes
even enemies…
we get lost
in the woven pattern
of our life.
the person
we finally end up loving
doesn’t get a ‘first run’
but sees a
‘love as is” tag
sewn across our heart…

yes!
yes!

with each new person
we weave
into our life’s journey
more imperfections
as we carry
sorrow
happiness
and love..
we are still searching
for that perfect
connection
the one felt from womb to child
before a separation
of life
into breath…
we all know
love
breaks
our heart
and that new love
makes us feel
young again…
as we age
their is a
flowing of
familiarity
from our present
to our past…
with so many currents
coursing through our veins
it’s a wonder
we are ever able
to love again…
yet there is this longing
this peace
this loneliness
in the soul
that yearns to be
touched, held, listened to,
laughed with and loved…

believe
believe

“By 25 months after the spouse’s death 61% of men and 19% of women were either remarried or involved in a new romance.” –
US National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health

what happens when we loose love?

when we loose a life-long love
we are already stamped
with habits, pathways, likes and dislikes.
we are already set
on what we thought
was going to be our journey until death…
yet one day we wake with a
tsunami of upwellings
sucking us down deeper
than we have ever been,
winds encircling us
tearing us to pieces
we lie scattered and broken
like the shells do
upon the sandy beach
we walk upon…
no one picks us up
or takes a second glance
because we are shattered
no one wants someone
with dings, dents, wounds
and no direction…

inner strength
inner strength

we are washed in and out
with the ebb and flow
of the water
as life’s tidal motion pulls
us in every direction
until at last we find ourselves
bobbing up and down
in the crystal clear
blue waters of the Gulf Stream
and we are washed
completely
by our faith
and stitched back together
by God…
as we begin the slow
melodic swimming to shore
we notice behind us
the horizon
is calm
as we accept the pieces
of our cracked self
and begin painfully
tacking back
the woven threads
of memory…

breathing again
breathing again

we then begin to find
our buoyancy
and gracefully
yet slowly
glide back
into life…
we look a little funny at first,
it’s hard to walk
into a room
and not weep
our lips tremble
at the thought of speaking
our clothes
unmatched,
hair
tousled…
yet,
we are upright,
present,
WE ARE THERE…

IMG_4804
ready for a new
heartbeat to aline with ours
and begin once more
to have the wind at our back
sailing easily
along with the shore of our life…
we still have days
when we hunker down
and cover up
as the storm clouds
take over
as we lie weeping
within the shell
of memory…
at the moment
we feel we can take no more…
the sunlight
dips from behind the darkness
we open our eyes
and
there
stands
love.

love
love

“who would want me?” you think..
“i’m a mess
do i really want to love again?
do i need love, pain, loss one more time?
I like the arms of sadness
holding onto me
and i like their voices
singing to me
stay and wallow!”

so you fall
and are
cradled into
the greedy hands
of memory…
love
slowly
defies
you.
it takes
one
step
closer.
you feel the
melodic pull
of a new
vibration
unknown to your
entirety…
the more steps
love takes
the more it
captures your heart.
one by one
the arms of memory
fall and wither
at your side
as you are caught up
in the dance
of new love…
you smile
breathe,
sing
about life…
memories lay
at your feet
no more.
you have
allowed them to be
knotted in gold
safely
in your heart song.
the jagged,
unraveled edges
of what was left of you
now firmly attaches
to the roots of the flower
blooming beside you
feeding from
God’s light
grace,
love
and
you
are
happy
once
more…

IMG_4738
you embark on
new adventures,
new memory threads…
each one making you
stronger…
you begin
one more time
to feel
and
give
love…
your feet
assuredly set
you are now
tandem surfing
your way
into shore…
embracing each
sunrise,
dancing under
the stars
and feeling
the weight
of memory
begin lifted…
you
are able
to embalm
the broken threads
of your life
with forgiveness
and release them,
allowing
your
soul
to begin
to live
without
surface pain
knowing
all memory
is safely
gathered
within…

home
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