uncluttering at nautilus teachings

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as we age
we either
hoard
or we
shed…
during our young years
of raising kids
we never care
about the clutter
clothes laying all over
games stacked high
we embrace the
mad, glorious mess
and think
‘this is life!’
but then,
one by one
they leave home
starting their own life
not wanting to
take their boxes
of stuff
and we are left
with pieces of their life
scattered everywhere…
i know moms
who left their kids rooms
exactly how they left them
and when they come home
they have these minis shrines
of their youth…
not me!
when my annie left
i boxed up her stuff
put it in storage
and made her room
a home art studio.
and when emily left
for college
i had her room empty
and gutted in 3 hours
and over the next week
made it into a guest room…
i listen to moms
every new school year
‘i can’t believe they are going to college,
what am i going to do without them?’
my response is usually
‘walk around the house naked…’
which gets them to giggling
and then i say,
‘you brought them here to give back to the world,
now let them go…you gave them wings, it’s their time
to fly and your time to just love them from afar…’
oh sure,
i missed my girls something fierce
when they left
i still miss them
but thats just it,
i miss the days of their youth
when i was needed
and they wanted to
hang out with me
watch movies
bake…
but now, they are adults
and guests in our home
when they visit,

Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days. Benjamin Franklin

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we love when they visit
and we love when they go home
we shed the mother
needs to do everything mask
and are now
just mom
and that’s OK!
at least for me.
would i like to have
all my children living near me?
sharing in their lives
as they marry,
have children
and grow old?
YES.
but reality is
my life is not a fairy tale
it’s not like the show
Parenthood
on netflix!
doc and i feel very blessed
to have our son nick and his
beautiful wife jules
moving here
wanting us to be
a big part of their life…
for us, with
a blended family of 5 kids
we know
they are our only hope
we know we will have
to travel to see the other 4
to work to be more than
phone conversations
and texting in their lives
so,
as we are aging
we are shedding…
we are getting rid of
bulky items
simplifying our home
updating everything
with the knowing
we are
getting older
more wobbly
there may one day
be a need
for a wheel chair access
because we intend
to not run
and hide in a corner
from our long life
but embrace
all life has to throw at us
remembering
how years ago
this room once held
our small children
how they would slam
the doors
scream
leave the floors a mess…

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we don’t need the clutter
of stuff
to remind us
of days gone by,
for that
we have shared memories
pictures we can hold
in our hand
photo albums to open up
and time,
lots and lots of time
to hold hands
sip some lemonade
-or in my case Titos-
and watch the world
rush by
from our chase
on our front porch
wondering
what in the heck is
everyone running towards
what are they looking for
when everything they need
is right inside
and beside them…
donate to charity
give away clothes
you will never fit in
downsize the stuff
cluttering up your
beautiful home…
the house is that
which holds memories.
take a deep breath in,
then create a world
you want to come home to
one that makes you happy…
if that is still
a rambling,
stuffed to the gill,
furniture around every corner,
your kids baby pictures
lining the dark hallway,
closets stuffed with their
old jerseys, yearbooks…
then i say
enjoy…
and if you need a slice
of calm stillness
a wee bit o’ paradise
come one over
and see doc and i
we have lots of space
for you to breath in…

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