“unreality” at nautilus teachings

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on may 25th
i will begin
the unfolding
the smoothing out
the mending
of what has been
29 years
of rolling out
and pounding down
my imagined
and much feared
“unreality”….
on my birthday,
i am gong to set my alarm
rising in time
to drive south
to watch the
sun burst forth
over the
beautiful
atlantic ocean
letting
the grace
light and love of God
fill me up
with the knowing
‘sher,
this is the beginning….’
it’s not the much
thought about untruth,
the horrific night terrors
waking me over and over
this is fresh, clean air
this is energy
this
is
truth…
i have spent the last
3 months
being poked
listened to
screened
x-rayed
and gone over
by 4 different
specialists
each one of them
coming up
with the same
words,
“sheri,
your numbers,
your vitals
your BMI
your lungs
heart
kidneys
liver….
are all perfect.
you are not
dying of cancer
of leukemia
and you have no
diseases…”
WHEW!!!
i still do have
one big test left
at the end of june
my dreaded
colonoscopy…
i am not anticipating
or expecting
anything bad
but this i know
for sure,
God has me.
He will never leave me.
no matter what.
end of story.
so why all
the hullaballoo?

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i
am
crazy!
lol…
i have been
obsessed
with
the fact
that i grew up
with my mom
always saying,
“i know i am going to die young…”
this was a bit freaky
and i never understood
or believed it,
but now
looking back,
knowing my grandmother died
at 55 as did my mom,
well…..
yeah,
you get it…
i have decided
this 54th year of life
is going to be one
of expression
of color
of sharing my life story
living each moment
to the fullest
laughing
filled with gratitude
love and family…
SCREECH!
wait!
stop!
guess what?
i have already been doing
all of the above
but i was looking backwards
instead of forward…
eyes wide open
hands palm side up
arms out stretched
barefooted
i walk into mother ocean
feel her healing
calm embrace
and float
buoyantly
as the sun greets
a new day
and welcomes me
into the beginning
of the second
half of my life…

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