version, phases or stages at nautilus teachings

what version of
are you?
there are so many versions
of windows i stopped
counting at 20.
the bible has been
in 2000 different languages
english version alone
holds 233 various translations!
trying to count
how many versions
of the apple computer
since Steve Jobs
first created it in 1976
lost me when it hit
no matter what electronic
you own
there are updates
to improve something.
all this got me to thinking
what if we could plug
ourselves in
and get updates?
vacations are toted
as unplugging from life.
seeing a head doctor
is called downloading
all our crap onto them.
we upload to society
and our family
all we THINK we know.
i was recently researching the idea
that the body regenerates itself
every 7 years-
i never got a yes or a no,
all i could find out was this:
Skin: These skin cells rejuvenate every two to four weeks.
Hair: has a life span of about six years for women and three years for men.
Liver: renews itself with new cells every 150 to 500 days.
Stomach and Intestines: typically last only up to five days.
Bones: the complete process takes a full 10 years.
so, i ask you again
what version are you
currently in?
when i look at my grandson
i think,
“oh, he is at the cute as a button
can do no wrong stage…”
kids then progress to the
“they never stop asking,
what’s that?” stage
from there is when
parents become the
grand inquisition,

Is this poop or chocolate?
Why is there peanut butter on the back of the couch?
Where did you put that booger?
Can you say “thank you”?
What did I just say?!
Why are you holding your privates?
Why is your underwear on your head?
What part of “no” don’t you understand?
Why are there Legos in the fridge?
Who gave their broccoli to the dog?
Are you sure you don’t have homework?
Did you just fart on me?
Why do you only have one shoe?
to name a few.
as we age
some of us lose our hearing
and instead of just walking
into the other room
and looking at the ‘going deaf’
one in the eye
we find ourselves yelling
from across the house
like our spouse is 2 years old
“honey. Honey. HOney. HONey.
only to turn around
find them smiling at us
or in some cases a bit miffed saying,
“don’t yell at me from the other room…”
i can still remember being at the
“mom has eyes in the back of her head” stage.
or how about when you are cooking
and all of a sudden the house
goes into stealth quiet mode?
that’s the “wtf, who’s hurt stage”
until they get to be teenagers
then it becomes the
“I am going to kill them” stage
when you sneak to their door
and smell the smoke
mixed with the open hot breeze
while you yell,
“were you born in a barn?
close that window!”
knowing the whole while
they cannot pull one over on you
because as mothers we have
a sixth sense.
which brings me back
to what stage
am i?

i don’t f’ing know.
most days it’s the
“walking around in
a sleep haze until noon, “ phase
because i wake up
6 times a night
half of those to pee
and the others
because of a hot flash.
d says when i wake up
i walk like a (his words)
“a muncha mooncha,,,,
like an oompa loompa!”
all i know is my hip hurts
my bones ache
my brain is mush
and all i want to do
is get an iv of coffee,
if you try to talk to me
before my intake of
‘vermont country blend’
dripping from my keurig
my middle finger rises up
and i say,
“namaste this…”
we all have many versions
of our selves
for some it can change
as rapidly as the wind.
then there are those
masters of zen
who you just want to
throw a rock at
scream obscenities at
strip in front of…
anything to get them
to express emotion
but all they do is
‘ommmmmm’ themselves
into a deeper consciousness.
reaching my mid fifties
i find i am somewhere
between the
parental inquisition
and the zen master
striving hard to find my balance
which is why i play
meditation music
when i drive
keep the house very quiet
and spend my days
writing, painting
and doing yoga
so when the noise does
enter my surroundings
i can blissfully close my eyes
offer up a prayer,
“please, Lord, let me have
patience and calm…”
put on my sheri smile
and be grateful
i am still standing
and able
to engage in the
second half of my life,
which i like to call
“how many hours till titos,
can i go to bed yet
will i ever stop peeing all night
why do my bones hurt
what is with my toenails
do i have to still shave my legs
why can’t i eat that
why is the sun so hot
can i crank the ac down to 60
not another doctor
all i wanna do is have some fun
live to 100
without wearing diapers
and someone having to feed me stage!”
whatever version you are in
look back on the ones you left behind
and look forward of all
the new ones you GET to live through!