why do people stay? at nautilus teachings

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why do people stay?
i believe
they stay
for all the wrong reasons…
i can say this,
because it is exactly
what i did twice…
the first time,
i stayed
because my mom
was dying
and i could not let her die
knowing her only daughter
who had a small son
was going to be a single mom-
it would have devastated her…
but the second,
ugh
i was weak
no self esteem
three kids
afraid to be alone
had no one to support me
and i thought-
not believed,
but thought
staying meant
saving the family…
i can tell you
on more than one occasion
one of my children said to me,
“please don’t get a divorce…”
how do you break their heart?
i tried over and over
to make it all work
but you cannot fix someone
who’s actions are not just
harming themselves
but also you and your children’s
happiness…
but this time when i left
i began changing
who i was
accepting all my flaws
mistakes
and bad decisions…

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this time
i gave everything
100% to God…
i know you know
my story
have read my words
but what you don’t know
is
it
was
fucking hard…
i lost every ‘friend’
i had no family
no job
my life was a mess.
fast forward
to now…
it’s been 12 years
and for the first time
EVER
i am happy…
if you are in
an unhappy
or abusive situation
find a way to leave…
yes, it is easier
said than done,
but it
can
be
done…
i am living proof.
it’s why i write this blog
why i write books
and am a life coach
i believe in the
power of
having my faith
as my center-
not religion
FAITH…
what do you believe in?

my journey i share, teach...
my journey i share, teach…

once you know
what is at the center
of you,
you
can
do
anything…
find your power
use your strength…
there are resources
to help every one of you,
no matter
age, race, religion, sex, political belief…
we are all humans
we all deserve
to be happy…
i am no longer
rooted to any one person
or any one thing
my roots are in my faith
and each branch
holds blossoms in
different hues
for each person
i love…
i am committed 100%
to my husband
and my children
my passion
is writing and art
and i do that every day…
i love what i do
but i can tell you one thing
if i had to,
tomorrow i would get
a job flipping burgers
if needed
because i will
never
ever
compromise,
go back
to being
ruled
yelled at
belittled
made to feel
inferior
and having
no
voice…

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i changed my life
for myself
by myself
and ended up
creating
a beautiful tiny life
in a small beach town
where i recently had
to fight again
to regain my safety
after our home was violated
while we slept…
i will never give up
i will fight
until my last breath…
where do i draw my strength?
what makes me so solid?
faith
and
for me
faith
is
God…
i no longer stay
unless
it’s someplace
with someone
i love
and who in returns
loves me to…
so if today
you are beat down
exhausted
needing to shed
a life that is draining you,
start today
one baby step
after another
one breath at a time
and if you need help
ask…
NEVER BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP!
i am here
always
and if you take a look
around
i will bet there are
many people you know
who are waiting
for you to finally say,
‘i’m done…’
i know one person who is,
and that is
your truth
your soul…
do it only for YOU
and the rest
will fall right into place
one beautiful mosaic piece
at a time…
i can see you shining already…

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